Apparently, whispering sweet nothings about blockchain and wallets will magically unlock a fortune by 2030. They say “rapid retail adoption” – as if our people are just waiting to trade their hard-earned pesos for these… ethereal promises. Paper promises have always been plentiful, haven’t they? And these aren’t even on paper! 💸
So, CEO Phong Le sat down for a chat (probably over a kale smoothie) and dropped some truth bombs. Strategy isn’t dumping Bitcoin just because the market’s moodier than a teenager. The only way they’re selling is if their stock tanks AND they can’t raise cash without turning shareholders into confetti. 🌪️🎉
Economist and professional gold cheerleader Peter Schiff believes bitcoin’s weakness shows a grand plot twist diverging from equities, which are chilling near their highs like they just finished a spa day. Schiff says investors are sliding back toward precious metals like gold and silver – which is basically the financial version of going back to your high-school sweetheart. 💍✨
And the timing! Just conveniently as his CEO, Phong Le, admitted they might actually, possibly, sell some of that Bitcoin if things get a little… tight. It’s like they’re doing a financial two-step. Or maybe I’m just overdramatizing. Probably not.
The villainous chap (or chapess, one mustn’t assume) then helped themselves to liquidity from a few Balancer pools. Honestly, the brazenness of it all! It rather smacks of a particularly audacious picnic, doesn’t it? And wouldn’t you know it, a goodly sum – 100 ETH here, 100 ETH there – then mysteriously vanished through the rather shadowy portal known as Tornado Cash. 🙄
Ah, XRP, trapped in a tiny dungeon of $2.17 to $2.24-a price range so tight, it might as well be a coffin. The traders, in their madness, maneuver anxiously, their hopes dashed by failed breakouts that only serve to liquidate their dwindling hopes and assets. Glassnode-those mad scientists of blockchain-capture this turmoil, revealing failed escapes that leave traders drowning in liquidations and despair. Truly, a spectacle of human folly! 😂
According to on-chain data (or as I like to call it, the world’s most public form of snooping), Coinbase’s XRP holdings took a nosedive from nearly a billion tokens down to just around 32 million in September. Some bright minds out there are suggesting that these tokens have been quietly tucked away into private vaults, possibly under the cover of non-disclosure agreements. Who needs transparency when you’ve got private custody, right? 🙄
Hayes is worried that Tether’s growing love affair with Bitcoin and gold might backfire if those assets decide to take a nosedive. Because, you know, nothing says “financial stability” like betting the farm on volatile assets. 🏦💔 Meanwhile, the crypto community is over here sipping their chai lattes, insisting Tether is as solid as a rock. Or at least, a moderately sturdy boulder. 🌋
Meanwhile, in the shadows of their more illustrious counterparts, the newly minted Solana and XRP ETFs continue their quiet march, attracting steady streams of institutional capital with the unassuming grace of a Turgenev protagonist. 🌱
For the uninitiated, DonAlt is a crypto soothsayer of some repute, recently prophesying a 700% rally for XRP-a token so controversial it’s like predicting a comeback for that dubious cousin who “invented” a blockchain-based teapot. His tweets are treated with the reverence usually reserved for tax returns or the Queen’s Christmas speech.
