Bitcoin’s Bull Run Has Entered Its Boring-but-Stable Phase (Try Not to Yawn)

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Apparently, Bitcoin’s gone all grown up. The market’s latest analysis reveals it’s less ‘rollercoaster’ and more ‘slow-moving train with extra seat cushions’. Institutions have moved in, wearing suits and sensible shoes, gently nudging out the adrenaline junkies – so, prepare yourself for gains that come at the pace of a snail with a mortgage. 💸🐌

On-chain data analyst ‘Yonsei_dent’ (sounds like the kind of name you whisper to a bouncer) from CryptoQuant decided to investigate whether Bitcoin’s latest bull market is less pub crawl, more chess tournament. Apparently, the Net Unrealized Profit/Loss (NUPL) indicator is screaming, “Maturity!” – which is less Madonna, more Meryl Streep. So, welcome to the era of fewer booming rallies and a vibe that feels like the WiFi’s gone slow but “it’s okay, just be patient”.

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NUPL’s job is basically to track how close everyone is getting to throwing a profit party. When things get “high”, everyone stands up and goes, “Seller’s market, darling!” Like clockwork, the temptation for profit-taking becomes so irresistible, you start hearing stories of people cashing out to buy yachts or, more realistically, an air fryer.

“Back in the ‘Good Old Days’, NUPL peaked like an over-caffeinated dolphin. Big peak in 2017! A double scoop in 2021! Now it’s… sort of trying for a third. Like your Aunt Susan at karaoke night – ambitious, but let’s not get carried away.”

The analysis blames – or credits, depending on your appetite for drama – a sudden influx of institutional capital. The big banks rolled up, bringing Bitcoin ETFs and buckets of slightly less risky cash. Apparently, these funds are less likely to panic or spontaneously decide “YOLO” than you at 2am after reading bullish Reddit threads.

“ETFs messed up the party and brought structure,” Yonsei_dent confirmed, sounding both grateful and vaguely resentful. Now, there’s more stability, a soothing blanket of liquidity, and the overwhelming sense that the market has started using coasters under its drinks. 📈

Of course, there’s a catch: as the market is padded and tamed, the explosive 100x rallies are slowly vanishing. Every new cycle is like buying a new iPhone: fancier, sure, but also less exciting by the year. Incremental gains are the new norm. You should absolutely adjust your expectations – but keep a spare party hat, just in case.

“Forget 100x magic tricks in a week. That’s so 2020. Now we wait. The data says this fresh, institutionally-approved bull market may last longer, feel safer, and arrive less dramatically – but those cinematic, ‘my portfolio just tripled overnight’ moments might be nothing but urban legend from here on in.” 🚀

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2025-08-14 03:16