Darling, clutch your pearls and your private keys: Gert van Lagen, our financial Nostradamus for the digital age, has whipped out his Elliott Wave tapestries and predicts Bitcoin pirouetting to a price so dizzying—above $300,000—that even the most genteel HODLer might spill their champagne. The new script invites investors to picture themselves not mid-waltz but at the precise moment to exit the ballroom (with wallets delightfully overstuffed). 🍾
Bitcoin Flirts with $395,000—Will It Ask You to Dance?
On July 1, our protagonist Lagen (on X, naturally—where else does prophecy occur?) unveiled his revised Elliott Wave soiree, featuring no fewer than four consolidation phases—Base 1 through 4, for those diligently numbering their parabolic conquests—and a classic, borderline dramatic, step-like trajectory. It’s the economic equivalent of stairway to heaven, minus Led Zeppelin royalties.
Wave 5, evidently the belle of this ball, is supposedly setting its sights on $395,000—a number so flamboyant one wonders if Bitcoin will throw in a case of Krug for every new ATH. The culminating movements promise a crescendo rapid enough to ruffle even the stiffest upper lip.
The esteemed chart, which is more practiced in the art of suspense than Agatha Christie, proclaims: Wave 3 managed a graceful leap above $106,000; Wave 4 (naturally dramatic) dipped below $79,000; and now, Wave 5 sashays onto the floor, subwaves and all, ready for a high-kicking subwave iii to crash through the all-time high like an uninvited relative at Christmas lunch.
The script hints that if Bitcoin breaks free of its previous limitations, a headlong dash through the $350,000–$400,000 sell zone awaits, with the entire orchestration wrapping up by August 2025—or so the analyst’s crystal ball (possibly on loan from a minor Bond villain) suggests. Could BTC really triple its $109,208 price, sweeping us all to $395,000? Only the bravest will keep their party hats handy.
Crypto Community: Bemused Bystanders or Spoilsports?
Alas, not everyone is donning sequins and sashes for this bullish masquerade. In the peanut gallery, the crypto clique casts side-eyes and snark. A vocal brigade points out “pesky realities,” like possible retracement to the mid-$90,000s—oh, how tiresome!—thanks to mysterious gaps and the market’s general tendency to crush dreams. 📉
Others, grasping their monocles, mutter about macroeconomic stress and geopolitical chaos—one imagines them seated at a grand table cluttered with newsprint and martinis—skeptical that anything, even Bitcoin, could tango to $400,000 by August 2025 without tripping on its own shoelaces. In short, some find Lagen’s ambitions a touch more Gatsby than Goldman Sachs.
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2025-07-04 06:18