Bitcoin’s $1M Dream: A Dostoevsky-Style Nightmare?

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While the CEO of Coinbase, a man of profound despair and existential dread, has declared that Bitcoin shall ascend to a million dollars by 2030, a crypto analyst, with a sigh and a heavy heart, warns that the market’s current descent to $112,676 is but a prelude to the abyss. 🧠💰

The US is a “bellwether for the rest of the G20”

“The rough idea I have in my head is that we’ll see a million-dollar Bitcoin by 2030,” Armstrong, a man whose soul is as tangled as a web of algorithms, proclaimed to John Collison on the “Cheeky Pint” podcast. How quaint, this hope, like a child’s fairy tale in a world of wolves. 🐺

Armstrong, with the fervor of a prophet, cited the US’s murky regulations as a beacon, a “bellwether for the rest of the G20.” One might ask: Is this a sign of progress, or merely the fever dream of a man who has lost his grip on reality? 🤯

He praised the “Genius Act for stablecoins” and the Senate’s “debate” on market structure, as if these were miracles. Fingers crossed, he said, as if faith could conjure wealth from the void. 🙏

“If you asked me five years ago, that would have been like a vision board,” he lamented, as if the US government holding Bitcoin were a crime against nature. How far we’ve fallen! 🤡

Meanwhile, Eric Trump, with a grin as wide as the Grand Canyon, declared, “You go out a couple of years, there’s no question Bitcoin hits a million bucks.” A man who has mastered the art of optimism, even as the world crumbles around him. 😬

Crypto analyst suggests one step at a time

But James McKay, a researcher with the patience of a saint, warns: “Let’s try and hold 124K first guys.” A humble request, yet one that seems as likely as a snowball’s chance in hell. ❄️🔥

McKay, with a voice like a weary philosopher, notes that Armstrong’s prediction is “not out of left field,” given Standard Chartered’s $500,000 forecast. How comforting, to know that even the most outlandish dreams have a shadow of credibility. 🌑

Yet, he cautions: “Factors supporting a continued Bitcoin rally include crypto treasury firms and nation-states buying Bitcoin, continued institutional interest, and rising demand for spot Bitcoin ETFs.” A list as long as a Dostoevsky novel, yet no less absurd. 📖

But beware, dear reader, for near-term headwinds loom: the Fed’s delay in rate cuts, and a potential shift in the next presidential administration’s stance. The future is a mirror, reflecting our deepest fears. 😵‍💫

Several other execs forecast $1M Bitcoin by 2030

McKay’s musings came hours after he mused, “Only time will tell whether the 4-year cycle is dead or not.” A question as old as time itself, and no closer to an answer. 🕰️

In February, Cathie Wood, with the confidence of a prophetess, claimed Bitcoin could reach $1.5 million by 2030. And Jack Dorsey, that paragon of vision, once dreamed of $1 million by 2030. How poetic, how tragic. 🎭

Yet, others warn: If the price soars too soon, it may signal disaster. Mike Novogratz, with a voice like thunder, declares, “A million-dollar Bitcoin next year wouldn’t be a victory, but a sign the US economy is in serious trouble.” A grim truth, wrapped in a smile. 😬

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2025-08-21 07:15