Bitcoin Mining: Bitdeer vs MARA – The Cosmic Hashrate Showdown 🚀💥

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Summary

  • Bitdeer, a company that somehow managed to invent “hashrate alchemy,” now claims 71 EH/s under management. For context, that’s roughly the computational power needed to calculate how many ways you can rearrange your sock drawer… if socks had quantum properties. MARA, meanwhile, is stuck at 61.7 EH/s, probably wondering if their coffee machine is secretly a mining rig. ☕🤔
  • Bitdeer’s SEAL04-1 chips are apparently so efficient, they sip energy like it’s tea at a Victorian soiree. Result? A 339% surge in BTC mined-because nothing says “success” like turning December into a Bitcoin gold rush. 🏆💰
  • While Bitdeer pivots to AI/HPC with 1,152 GPUs (because why not?), MARA clings to Bitmain Antminers and a BTC treasury so large, it makes Scrooge McDuck look like a broke college student. 🏦😅

Bitdeer Technologies Group, a company that somehow manages to sound both futuristic and suspiciously like a typo, reported 71 EH/s under management by December’s end. This figure, if believed, would position them ahead of MARA Holdings Inc.-a feat akin to a toaster beating a supercomputer at chess. 🥣♟️

Of that 71 EH/s, 55.2 EH/s is self-mined, while the rest is outsourced to third parties, who are probably wondering if they signed up for a mining contract or a pyramid scheme. MARA, for comparison, claims 61.7 EH/s, which is still enough to make them the “largest publicly traded miner” until Bitdeer sneezes and adds another zero. 🧼📈

MARA had been the undisputed king of the hashrate hill since mid-2023, scaling from less than 20 EH/s to 60+ EH/s by September 2025. But now, the definition of “capacity” feels as clear as a mud pie. Is Bitdeer’s “managed” hashrate comparable to MARA’s “energized”? Only the universe knows-and it’s not telling. 🌌🤫

Bitdeer’s self-mining capacity? A staggering 55.2 EH/s, powered by over 1,100 chips. 538 of these are rented out, which is either a brilliant business move or a cry for help. Either way, it’s definitely more exciting than watching paint dry. 🎨⏱️

“Bitdeer reported 71 EH/s of capacity as of end December (~6% of the global hashrate), +18% month over month and +229% year over year,” said Matt Sigel of VanEck, who might have been paid in Bitcoin to write that. “Like other miners, they’re selling everything they mine (and more) to fund the AI pivot.” Which is just a fancy way of saying, “We’re shifting our existential crisis to a different industry.” 🤖💸

Bitdeer’s December 2025 BTC haul? 636 coins, up from 145 in December 2024. That’s a leap akin to a sloth discovering adrenaline. The magic? Their proprietary SEALMINER chips, which run on a diet of low-voltage electricity and sheer willpower. 🔋💪

Their SEAL04-1 chips, at 6-7 J/TH efficiency, are apparently the Elon Musk of mining hardware. MARA’s 19 J/TH fleet, meanwhile, drinks energy like it’s at a buffet. But comparing them? That’s like judging a bicycle race by the amount of gasoline used. 🚴⛽

Bitdeer’s also building AI/HPC infrastructure across eight sites-Canada, Ethiopia, Norway, and the U.S.-because nothing says “global expansion” like choosing locations based on weather. MARA, though, is sticking to 18 data centers full of Bitmain Antminers. They’re also holding onto 55,000+ BTC, which is either a treasure trove or a financial black hole. 🕳️💸

The AI boom, meanwhile, has turned mining economics into a game of “how many buzzwords can we cram into one press release?” Companies are now racing to build HPC infrastructure and secure cheap energy-because nothing says “sustainability” like mining Bitcoin with hydroelectric power from a dam you didn’t build. 🌊⚡

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2026-01-14 16:17