Bitcoin Holders Celebrate Being “In the Money”—But Wait, There’s (Probably) More!

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Stop the presses, cue the confetti cannons, and someone please check on that one guy who lost his Bitcoin password—because Bitcoin (BTC) has officially swaggered back through the $111,000 resistance like it’s Kanye showing up late to his own party. In the past 24 hours, the top cryptocurrency basically sent the whole digital currency ecosystem into a group text that just says, “You up?”

No Sad Songs for Bitcoin Holders 🎤💸

Here’s some news that will have even your grandma regretting she swapped her crypto wallet for Beanie Babies: 100% of circulating Bitcoin addresses are in profit now. That’s right, literally everyone is “in the money,” according to the crypto think-tankers at IntoTheBlock. (All 19,910,000 BTC. That’s almost as many ‘Wen Lambo?’ posts as there are stars in the sky.)

So whether you bought Bitcoin back when Blockbuster was still a thing, or you snagged some while waiting for Travis Kelce to propose to Taylor Swift (spoiler: still hasn’t happened), you’re sitting pretty. At this rate, it seems like there are no resistance levels in sight—every price is just new territory, kind of like going to the gym after New Year’s. Anything can happen, but odds are you’ll be awkward and slightly richer.

But wait! Before you tattoo that $111k on your forehead, BTC has backpedaled a bit. (Classic crypto move: the emotional equivalent of someone ghosting you, then occasionally watching your Instagram stories.) But the bulls are still running the show. Is it volatile? Absolutely. But so is my willpower at an all-you-can-eat dessert bar. Per CoinMarketCap, we’re still up 2.29% to $111,269. Could be worse—you could be holding MySpace stock.

The good vibes aren’t just for Bitcoin; Ethereum, Cardano, even XRP are catching this bullish fever. (Golden cross for XRP? Is that a technical formation, or just a last-ditch marketing move before NFTs try to make a comeback?) Anyway, everyone is on the up and up—well, at least until the next news cycle.⏳

Who’s Driving This Magical Crypto Bus? 🚌✨

Bitcoin isn’t exactly driving solo. To keep things spicy, the major drama is unfolding on Wall Street, with investors like Michael Saylor treating BTC accumulation like it’s the last slice of pizza. MicroStrategy hit pause on their Bitcoin hoarding this week—probably to let their accountants sleep—but not to worry, they’ve already organized a fresh fundraising extravaganza. (I assume the afterparty has cocktail napkins with “To The Moon” printed on them.)

Meanwhile, the Bitcoin ETF market is heating up faster than your phone during a 12-hour TikTok binge. BlackRock’s IBIT in particular is acting like the life of the finance party, driving inflows and making other ETFs look like sad appetizers at a wedding buffet. With retail and institutional dollars stacking up, the buzz is that $120,000 Bitcoin is “just around the corner.” (Kind of like when your friend says they’re “almost there”…but you both know they haven’t left home.)

Right now, demand is outpacing supply—so if you’re holding Bitcoin, get ready for every group chat to suddenly act like you’re Warren Buffett’s cooler younger cousin. $120,000? Could happen. But remember, this is crypto—so wear a helmet and keep your FOMO in check. 🚀🪙

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2025-07-10 19:19