Binance Reserves: What CZ Said Next Will Blow Your Mind! 😂

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In the gray dawn of a July morning, when the world still clings sleepily to its illusions, Changpeng “CZ” Zhao, the archetype of industrious resolve (and, it seems, infinite patience), gazed with gentle bemusement at the latest tempest swirling in the teacup of Twitter/X.

For it had come to pass that whispers and murmurs—those perennial shadows which haunt any fortress of fortune—were being cast upon Binance’s proof-of-reserves, as if somewhere behind the digital ramparts, a covetous dragon was hoarding numbers rather than gold.

Of FUD, Delay, and the Calendrical Mysteries (Also, Bruh…)

There, amidst the cacophony of posts and reposts, Zhao’s reply gleamed like a single lantern in the Russian mist. “Bruh
 FUD,” he murmured, with the air of a man who’s already lost count of how many times he’s explained to the peasants that the winter wheat crop will be ready when it’s ready, and not an instant before.

He pointed out—undoubtedly shaking his head, for what else could one do?—that Binance “usually takes a few days to publish,” typically on the 5th or 6th, and that the “snapshot,” that much-mythologized event, occurs on the first. “Check the history properly please,” he urged, no doubt wondering whether those sowing doubt had ever checked anything ever.

Bruh… FUD. 4. Binance usually takes a few days to publish. Usually on 5th or 6th. The snapshot is taken on the first. Check the history properly please.

Thank you for your attention to Binance. 😆

— CZ đŸ”¶ BNB (@cz_binance) July 4, 2025

One could almost see the peasants (or “crypto influencers,” as they now prefer to be called) clutching their pitchforks of outrage, only to realize that, once again, the supposed scandal was little more than smoke and mirrors—more Tolstoyan kitchen gossip than grand conspiracy.

Yet, as always in the vast village of Binance, some folk appreciated Zhao’s clarity; others, who perhaps enjoy fermenting FUD more than drinking their morning kvass, decried the very act of his replying—to reply, or not to reply; that is the question, and it appears Hamlet isn’t getting any answers from this mob either.

CZ, Defender of Binance: Or, Standing on a Digital Hill, Shouting into the Void đŸč

Zhao, that steadfast steward—mere former CEO in name, but still the spiritual herdsman—continued to walk among the digital fields of his creation. News of Nano Labs raising $500 million (a sum Dostoevsky would have needed several lifetimes to squander), solely to buy Binance Coin, was greeted by Zhao as one might greet the first rays after a Russian winter: with a bullish optimism so ferocious it could warm even the coldest NFT speculator.

Indeed, when rumors dared to declare giants like Ripple and Bitcoin to be dead, Zhao did not sigh in weary resignation like a character from War and Peace—no, he called out the folly, like an old count at dinner waving away yet another rumor about his gout.

As this story meanders through the meadows of social media, it’s clear that in the great Russian novel of crypto, CZ remains our bemused, undeterred protagonist—reassuring all, even as FUDsters sharpen their quills.

Ah, crypto winter may come, but Binance’s monthly reserves will still arrive—fashionably late, as all great parties do. đŸ•ș

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2025-07-04 14:37