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On this wretched Wednesday, crypto’s children were soundly thrashed, with bitcoin miners-those clever chaps now posing as AI sages-enduring the harshest blows, as if in a Chekhovian farce where dreams crumble without the courtesy of a stage curtain. 🙄
This means you can now bet on whether “Team A will score next”-using NHL branding, no less-without feeling like you’re crossing a line into outright madness. Why? Because the NHL apparently decided that its logo looks good on trading screens probably more than it looks good on ice skates.
XRP posts modest gains but trails the broader crypto rally as volume spikes nearly 10% above the weekly average – a sign of institutional positioning at key technical levels ahead of potential breakout catalysts. 🤯📈
Dogecoin (DOGE) has dropped from $0.3066 to $0.1900, which is like watching a toddler lose a candy stash. The crypto market’s recent crash was so intense, it felt like a dramatic apocalypse. 🌍💥
According to CEO Paolo Ardoino, this isn’t just a big number of wallets; it represents 500M real people. He didn’t hold back his enthusiasm, taking to X to call the achievement ‘likely the biggest financial inclusion achievement in history.’
On an exhilarating Tuesday, Galaxy Digital (GLXY) shares danced beyond convention, closing over 8% higher after their earnings report resembled a maestro’s finest symphony. This event led brokers to perform the delightful ritual of adjusting their price targets as if they were changing hats at a soirée. 🎩
Here’s the deal. The on-chain metrics aren’t exactly screaming “party time” for FLOKI. No massive accumulation from holders, and the recent bearish momentum? Yikes. If you’re a bull, you might wanna sit this one out. Seriously, don’t hold your breath for a “comeback” just yet. 🐂💨
Yonder Lummis, bless her stubborn heart, resists the combined pressures of both Republicans and Democrats to alter the interest language. The banking industry, ever the schemers, argues this creates a loophole for crypto exchanges to offer rewards-i.e., pay interest-while wearing the mask of virtue. “I’m of the opinion we should leave the stablecoin bill alone,” she declared to reporters, “we’ve got enough problems with market structure.” Aye, and who among us hasn’t? The crypto crowd, meanwhile, has launched a campaign to preserve their precious rewards, as if the fate of liberty itself hinges on the interest rate of a USD-backed token. 🚨
Everybody’s got their eye on the horizon, whispering about trillions in real-world asset (RWA) liquidity floating into the blockchain. But right now, it’s a few billion, fluttering around like fireflies in the night. Pharos has already hoisted its flag in this endless sea, clocking over three billion transactions since May-more than some folks’ entire lives of web surfing. Now with AtlanticOcean in the mix, that number’s bound to climb, like barnacles on a ship’s hull, stubborn and relentless.