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In a recent X post, Bittel used the ‘GMI Bitcoin Cycle Top Finder’ to show that this cycle is far from over. He pointed out that this indicator has been spot on in the past, correctly spotting four top signals in Bitcoin’s history. But guess what? This time, the indicator is saying, “Not so fast, my crypto friends!” BTC is nowhere near a cycle top, and that’s music to the ears of bulls everywhere. 🐂

Formerly of Jonah Bank, Hickman has now been promoted to “Person the Federal Reserve Warns Everyone About at Awkward Social Events.” Her exploits allegedly include making off with $33,212 from a nonprofit where she had the dual role of Bookkeeper and Apparent Magician—specializing in the “Now you see it, now you don’t!” style of financial reporting.

BitMine Immersion Technologies (NYSE American: BMNR) has lately become the Rorschach test of finance bros and crypto kittens alike—a stock that, as of Monday, pirouetted 700% in a single day. The trigger? The enlisting of Tom Lee, that zigzagging oracle of Wall Street, who now occupies the Chairman’s plush seat. What next—Jim Cramer as court jester?

But let’s talk about the real showstopper: retail investors. You know, the average Joes and Janes whose grandkids are probably the only ones listening when they talk about “buying the dip.” Well, they’ve taken a group sabbatical. On-chain data says their absence is causing some rare drama in the Bitcoin universe—like the cast of Real Housewives going on a wellness retreat.

Ethereum (ETH) was trading at around $2,500 at the last check on Saturday, July 5, within a narrow range it has maintained since May. It’s like it’s stuck in a cosmic traffic jam, but hey, at least it’s not going backward. 🚗

According to a local news report, Rostec stated that RUBx Tokens are fully backed by real rubles. This implies that one Russian ruble will be kept in reserve to each RUBx in circulation. Deputy General Director of Rostec Alexander Nazarov said that this support is legally ensured. He added that the system is to be introduced this year, with Rostec being its primary operator.

According to the newly updated settlement portal, which I imagine is as exciting as a Victorian novel, General Motors will provide compensation to affected owners and lessees for issues related to excessive oil consumption in vehicles equipped with the LC9 engine. One must wonder, what did these poor souls do to deserve such a fate? 🤔

Mercado Bitcoin, the digital asset platform that’s as popular in Latin America as chocolate in a sweet tooth’s mouth, has announced plans to tokenize more than $200 million in permissioned real-world assets (RWAs). These aren’t just any assets; we’re talking about fixed income and equity income instruments, the kind that make grown investors swoon. 💕

As of Saturday, July 5, XRP is trading at a respectable $2.22, with a market capitalization of $131 billion. The digital asset’s 24-hour trading volume stands at $1.33 billion, fluctuating within an intraday range of $2.20 to $2.24, while the weekly range extends from $2.17 to $2.30. 📊

Over the last seven days, the stablecoin market has climbed 0.84%, ticking up from $253.25 billion to $255.364 billion. Just $4.636 billion more and it’ll be staring down a fresh all-time high at the $260 billion mark. Right now, stablecoins make up about 7.7% of the $3.32 trillion crypto market. Tether’s USDT holds the lion’s share of the stablecoin pie, commanding 62.45% of the total fiat-pegged token market.