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Meanwhile, in reality, Bitcoin did a quick pirouette and dived about $5,000 faster than you can say “liquidity crisis,” obliterating over $200 billion of the crypto market’s cherished assets – a number so large, it might as well be magic. This dramatic tumble was linked not to some rogue algorithm but a series of “traditional market” shenanigans involving Japan’s bond market and their ongoing yen tango, possibly orchestrated by a high-stakes game of economic hide-and-seek.

Picture this: Kraken, the world’s favorite crypto-exchange playboy, and Deutsche Börse Group, the traditional market operator with a surprisingly trendy Instagram account. On Dec 4, these two inked a deal to be like financial BFFs, marrying old-school finance with the digital asset craze. It all kicks off with a focus on foreign-exchange, but they’re already dreaming bigger-hello, crypto, tokenized assets, custody, and derivatives for those institutional investors who binge-watch Wall Street and Breaking Bad.

“Should MSTR’s price dip below NAV,” he continued, “do not expect a panic sale. Why? Because Michael Saylor’s faith in Bitcoin is as unshakable as a drunkard’s belief in a cab at midnight.” Hougan, ever the optimist, likened a forced $60 billion Bitcoin dump to “two years of ETF inflows”-a comparison that would make a glutton blush.

No decision has reached its final watering hole just yet, but word is that cutbacks, and perhaps even layoffs, are being mused about in the back alleys of Meta’s Reality Labs. This place, my dear friends, is mostly where the stack of metaverse riches goes. Bloomberg and The New York Times, bless their diligent souls, reported on this potential adventure last Thursday.

Bitcoin has reverted above an important trendline. Markets are putting excessive odds on a reduction in the rate. 🤯 But who needs sleep when you can watch your portfolio implode?

Investors, those weary souls, clasp their modest gains like relics, even as the price’s capricious dance stirs the soul. The market, that fickle mistress, has retreated from its earlier frenzy but has not yet succumbed to the abyss. A precarious truce, one might say, between the devil and the deep blue sea.

The investors have finally stopped ghosting PUMP, apparently. On-chain data whispers, “Hey, maybe this token isn’t dead yet?” (Spoiler: It’s probably not.)

And then there’s the worry about the dreaded MSCI indexes. If MSTR (MicroStrategy’s stock ticker) gets kicked out, some believe the stock price might nosedive below its net asset value (NAV). Oh, the horror! But fear not, Hougan reassures us that there’s no mystical “sell Bitcoin or else” clause hidden in the fine print. In fact, no such mechanism exists. Because why would a company want to sell its digital treasure just because some numbers on a screen aren’t looking so hot?

Egrag Crypto, the self-proclaimed “Oracle of HODL,” is now likening XRP to NVIDIA’s pre-2000 glory days. Let’s do the math: $0.35 in 2000 turned into $180 today. That’s a 51,329% return. If you had $10k to spare back then, you’d be sipping margaritas in a villa bought with crypto gains. 🏝️ But hey, maybe XRP will let you skip the villa and just buy a spaceship. 🛸

By Shayan