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In this grand move to streamline procedures, we’re looking at fewer delays, less paperwork, and fewer regulatory hurdles. And, of course, more access to crypto ETFs-because why shouldn’t we all have a shot at diving into that rollercoaster ride of volatility? 🎢 It’s a major leap forward in crypto investment options in the U.S., so let’s all raise a glass to fewer red tapes and more profits-or, if we’re being honest, more wild fluctuations! 🥂📉

Originally, this gig was supposed to last less than 130 days-something like a government summer fling. But surprise! Sacks apparently treated that limit more like a suggestion. Cue Senator Elizabeth Warren and her sidekick Melanie Stansbury, who decided to play parental units and say, “Hold up, where are you even working, and how many government hours are you racking up?”

Despite the relentless wave of profit-taking, bullish momentum persists, ensuring Dogecoin remains the center of attention, much like a village jester at a royal feast.

Ethereum (ETH) is chilling around $4,500 with a trading volume of $32.4 billion over the last 24 hours. It’s a bit wobbly right now, but still up 4% for the week. Classic Ethereum! It can’t make up its mind whether it wants to flirt with the $4,900 peak or get cozy at $4,000-it’s a real emotional rollercoaster. 🎢

Well, if this little breakout above the descending resistance line actually *happens* (one can never be certain, you know), we could be looking at a rather cheeky $3.25. But, of course, if it doesn’t, we shall all simply have to suffer through a bit of consolidation. Dreadful.

“He carefully manages his SGE days,” the spokesperson proclaimed, with a gravitas befitting a man of Sacks’ stature. “Those days need not be consecutive, you see.” 🧐 Ah, the loopholes of the enlightened! Meanwhile, the indefatigable Senator Elizabeth Warren, alongside her cohort of lawmakers, has taken it upon herself to scrutinize this temporal ballet. “Have you exceeded your limit, dear Czar?” they inquire, quills sharpened and letters signed with the fervor of the morally indignant.

Superintendent Adrienne A. Harris dropped this bombshell on September 17, expanding the rules that used to only apply to virtual currency hipsters to the stodgy folks at traditional banks. Basically, if you have a state-chartered bank or a foreign bank branch licensed in New York, congratulations, you’re officially under blockchain house arrest.

Behold, the CME Group, that colossus of derivatives, hath proclaimed on the 17th of September its intent to birth options upon XRP and Solana futures, commencing on the 13th of October, pending the whims of regulatory overlords. These contracts, both standard and micro-sized, shall grace the markets with daily expirations, a veritable feast for the speculative soul. The company, in its infinite wisdom, declareth:

And let’s not forget the elephant in the room-or rather, the orange-hued figure trying to steer the Fed like a shopping cart with a wonky wheel. Powell finally addressed the Trump-shaped shadow looming over his decisions, claiming it didn’t sway him. Right. As if a wizard would admit to being influenced by a squabbling court jester. 🤡

For decades, the global financial markets have been a walled fortress. Stocks, bonds, and ETFs were safely locked away behind layers of brokers, banks, and an avalanche of paperwork. But, lo and behold, the wall is starting to crack.