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Nearly half, driven perhaps by visions of digital utopias where rubles have been replaced by bitcoin (minus the vodka stains), claimed that crypto payments might—just might!—be the bread and butter within the next decade. Yet, in an utterly predictable plot twist, only 2% actually allow crypto past their gates right now. The overwhelming majority remain chained to legacy systems, perhaps afraid that Satoshi himself will inspect their ledgers. The usual ghosts haunt their boardrooms: wild price swings, shadowy regulations that change faster than a Moscow train schedule, and a workforce that views “blockchain” as something you use to lock your bicycle.

At $110,000 and counting, the charts wear their bullishness openly. A phalanx of flags signals the rally’s many battles won; the old resistance lines have become nothing more than yesterday’s snow—stamped out under heavy boots. The price hovers now, just below that ice-crusted channel where $117,000 to $120,000 glimmer like Zhivago’s unreachable ice palace. Will Bitcoin climb? Of course—it yearns with the aching certainty of spring.

This growing momentum comes amidst a broader optimism in the crypto market and a strengthening correlation with Bitcoin, which is itself edging closer to a new all-time high. Together, these trends suggest that Ethereum may be poised for a significant breakout, but a familiar roadblock still stands in the way.

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According to the ever-watchful analysts at Santiment, XRP has surpassed a seven-week high, crossing the $2.39 mark for the first time since the dark days of May 23. But wait, it’s not just the price that’s exciting. Oh no, it’s the hoarding! A surge in accumulation from those mighty crypto whales suggests that XRP is not just a fleeting fancy, but rather a robust investment — or at least they hope so. 🐳

Look, SUI finally broke above $3, coming out of whatever “descending channel” it was trapped in. Sure, maybe it’s time to pop the champagne—if your standards are really, really low. Open interest is up, spot volume is up, and apparently, everyone’s buying. I mean, unless they’re not. Half these charts look like my cholesterol graph after a good pastrami sandwich. RSI above 50? Great. That’s not exactly the same as Warren Buffett handing you his checkbook.

This achievement coincides with a roughly 3% increase in the price of Pi Coin (PI) over the past day. However, an expert warns that the PI may face challenges ahead unless the team implements some major changes.

Solana is currently trading around $157 and has attracted attention for breaking a major downtrend. Chart analysts point to a potential surge to $280–$300 based on technical formations. A cup-and-handle breakout has formed on the daily chart, and sentiment around the network’s expanding utility is growing. On the prediction market Polymarket, chances for a Solana ETF approval by the end of 2025 have skyrocketed above 99%, further fueling optimism.

That’s a 23% jump quarter-over-quarter, covering 4% of bitcoin’s glorious capped supply of 21 million. And, hold your breath, the average bitcoin price shot up to $107,754. That’s a nice 61% increase in portfolio value compared to Q1. Corporate wallets are looking fatter than ever!

Let us all take a moment to reflect on this earth-shattering truth: Binance is big because of its vast, loyal army of crypto traders. I mean, who would’ve thought, right? No one could have guessed that the key to success would be something as trivial as *users*. It’s almost as if Binance’s strength wasn’t a result of magic, or pure luck, but something quite ordinary… like *demand*. Shocking! 😱