qfx

Dogecoin was like, “Hold my beer.” It stayed strong in the long run, despite a short-term outlook that looked like it had just come out of a bad breakup. 🥴

His fintech firm now lets you send USD through the Bitcoin Lightning Network, so merchants get Bitcoin even if you’re just a broke college student who’s never owned a crypto. It’s like a gift card… but for people who think they’re Wall Street. 🎁

Apparently, Midnight Network is the superhero in this story-afar from the kind of digital gulag the EU and WEF are cozying up to create. Ferguson’s warning about a “digital surveillance grid” is less about sci-fi and more about the EU saying, “Hey, everyone, let’s put our IDs on everything, even your cats’ Instagrams.”

Bitcoin, oh Bitcoin, thou art a riddle wrapped in a blockchain! Despite thy lofty perch above $100,000, thou showest the weariness of a soul trapped in a Gogol novella. 😔 A November 13 report from the wise market makers at Wintermute reveals thy tragic flaw: thou reactest more to Nasdaq’s tears than its triumphs, a bearish skew that screams exhaustion, not euphoria. 🎻

Market sages whisper that this cooling phase may be a silent crescendo of accumulation, not a sign of exhaustion. On-chain trackers, those modern-day alchemists, reveal exchange outflows and long-term holder positions-proof that the faithful are hoarding like squirrels in a nutty frenzy. Yet analysts, ever the Cassandra, caution that this tranquility is but a prelude to a storm. ⚠️🌪️

Meanwhile, the crypto circus has somewhat tamed its wild stallions; the market has reversed its downward tumble, though Bitcoin (BTC) still lingers, a bit battered, a tad sluggish, perhaps pondering its existence over the past 24 hours-like a tired old dog on a cold winter’s night. 🐶

Imaginez, chers amis, un oracle moderne, un mystérieux « Coincodex » qui, avec la finesse d’un devin de bazar, prévoit que notre cher Shiba, en cette fin d’année, ne fera que s’enliser dans une patinoire glaciale, oscillant entre 0.00001 et 0.000012 dollars. Voilà qui est cocasse, n’est-ce pas ? Le même oracle assure qu’il n’y aura ni plouf ni plongée abyssale dans la piscine à monnaie numérique. Il s’agit d’un « mouvement » presque droit comme la règle, espérons-le, pour qu’il continue son balancement sans fracas jusqu’en 2026… ou même plus longtemps !

Since early 2025, Solana has been strutting its stuff on the crypto catwalk, leaving everyone begging for the highlights of its stellar performance. But caught in the limelight are whispers about its next move-can it tread the path to $1,000, or is it destined for a heartbreak tumble back down to $100? 💸

Ah, Polymarket-the prodigal son of prediction platforms-has returned to the land of the free (and heavily regulated). This grand re-entrance comes in beta mode, allowing a privileged few to place real bets while the rest of us watch enviously from the sidelines. All this, mind you, after a delightful $1.4 million slap on the wrist from the CFTC and a brief sojourn offshore. The relaunch was made possible by the acquisition of QCX, a CFTC-approved exchange-because nothing says “redemption arc” like buying your way back into legitimacy.

Summary