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According to those clever folks who track blockchain data (shoutout to Arkham Intelligence), on July 22nd, a wallet linked to SpaceX transferred 1,308.45 BTC—worth roughly $152.91 million—to a shiny new address. And just for kicks, they sent a tiny transaction fee of 0.000248 BTC ($29) to Coinbase Prime before making the big move. You know, because why not? 😅
The decentralized ecosystem, a veritable hive of activity, coupled with the antics of whales (not the kind one finds in the ocean, mind you) and speculation of grand exchange listings, has set hearts aflutter. Though the mainnet launch remains but a promise, the technicians and on-chain metrics assure us that a bullish continuation to $0.6 is nigh. How very exciting, though one must always temper one’s enthusiasm with a dash of prudence. 🧐
And Jamie Dimon, the guy who acts like Bitcoin is personally offensive to him? He’s still publicly ranting, I presume. But behind the scenes? Oh, they’re “exploring ETF-linked lending” and “facilitating crypto access.” Facilitating! It’s like they’re trying to *sound* responsible while secretly dipping a toe in the crazy. It’s a whole thing. A whole, infuriating thing.
Hedera (HBAR) price, in a fit of audacity, broke out of a double bottom pattern, shattering the neckline at $0.229 and soaring to a peak of $0.299 on July 18—revisiting that tiresome high from early May. This escapade boasts a gain of roughly 30% from the breakout point. How charmingly excessive! 😂
“The price of Ether per Bitcoin over the past decade has materially improved,” Keys announced on CNBC, presumably while adjusting his “I ♥ ETH” lapel pin. “You’d be 50x wealthier!” Later, on X (formerly Twitter), he sheepishly corrected this to 30x 🧮. Math is hard when you’re busy revolutionizing finance.
Ethereum [ETH], that darling of decentralized dreams, has found itself in the clutches of corporate whales—though not the ones you might expect. No, these are not the Googles or Microsofts of the world but rather two entities whose names evoke visions of bingo halls and basement tech startups.
XRP Community: “Can We Get a Yes or a No, Karen?”
Ethereum, that curious digital phantom, flirts once more with the elusive four thousand mark. Investors, bless their naive hearts, are placing bets, anticipating… what? A rally, they say. As if the market possesses a discernible logic! 🤦♂️
Apparently $260 million wasn’t enough to buy happiness, so they’re tossing another $100 million at StablecoinX (which sounds like a mediocre energy drink) and “operational expenses” (read: avocado toast budgets for the dev team).
Per Bit Origin’s official statement, they bought DOGE at $0.2466 per token, now hoarding over 40 million. They even invented a new metric called DOGE-Per-Share (DPS), clocking in at 0.691. Because nothing screams “institutional-grade” like a number that’s basically a wink to the universe.
