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Mesdames et messieurs, vous croyez que le combat entre Ripple et l’empoisonnée SEC est terminé? Ah, que nenni! Figures-vous que maître Bill Morgan, ce savant avocat américain, a déclaré tout haut que la malicieuse SEC n’a point encore baissé les armes. Non, elle joue encore ses tours, car elle n’a point déposé son papier de retraite. Une étape fatidique est fixée pour le 15 août — comme une date dans une pièce où tout peut basculer, ou pas!

Ether runs into resistance at $4,000, but strong technicals and rising institutional demand could drive ETH into price discovery. 🧠

But wait, here’s the twist—beyond its unpredictable price tantrums, Shiba Inu is changing its stripes. Think of it as a meme that’s decided to grow up and get a proper job. Turns out, a shocking 80% of all SHIB is now hoarded by long-term investors, those noble souls holding onto their tokens for over a year, rather like Grandma clinging to her retirement savings—slow and steady. This data from IntoTheBlock reveals that, despite the wild price swings, the number of long-term holders is actually increasing. Who knew that people could be patient? Less trading chaos means fewer sudden dumps, and that’s a good thing, like a peace treaty in the wild west of crypto. Less volatility, less drama—who knew stability could be so dull and yet so comforting?

If you’re a BBVA customer now, congratulations! You can buy and sell crypto right inside your mobile app. No more sketchy websites, no more calling that cousin who “knows a guy.” You just tap a few buttons and voilà—digital coins. Next thing you know, your grandfather’s trading Dogecoin instead of checking his retirement account.

On the 29th of July, the SEC, in a moment of uncharacteristic generosity, granted permission for in-kind creations and redemptions for spot crypto ETPs (exchange-traded products). How thrilling! 🎉

Just last week, in a scene reminiscent of a farcical play, Trump graced the Fed with his presence, questioning Chairman Jerome Powell about the extravagant renovations that seem to have spiraled out of control. “Why, dear Jerome, are we spending so much?” he might as well have exclaimed, while simultaneously reiterating his fervent calls for the FOMC to cut rates. A cut, he believes, would not only benefit Bitcoin and its cryptocurrency brethren but also breathe life into the languishing equities, igniting the flames of economic activity across the land. 💸

Let’s talk numbers, because who doesn’t love a good financial drama? Long position traders got slapped hard, losing a whopping $651,250! It’s like watching your favorite character in an action movie get tossed out of a window—suspenseful, shocking, yet somehow incredibly satisfying. 💰💣

According to Lookonchain (because apparently, we need analysts now), two wallets that were part of Pump.fun’s presale are making moves. One wallet dumped 17 billion coins over seven days—that’s enough zeros to make even Jeff Bezos jealous. Another sold all 12.5 billion of its stash. Seriously, these guys are treating their crypto like last season’s leftovers at Thanksgiving dinner. 🦃

In a recent declaration to his army of 1.3 million followers on X, Becker suavely pointed out that the grand ascent of altcoins — you know, the one we’re all dreaming about while staring at charts — is just a twinkle in the distant crypto future. According to his crystal ball, the real fireworks don’t commence until Ethereum (ETH) dares to soar past the $5,000 mark, after which the top coins might *perhaps* double, triple, or even 80x—just enough for your mother to finally notice your new ‘investment’.