qfx

RSI lounging at 56 and inching towards a DMI crossover-fingers crossed for a cheeky retest of $2.50 if the momentum doesn’t fizzle out like a dud firework. 😏

Ahoy, crypto scallywags! Kraken, the tentacled titan of the digital seas, has been hoarding doubloons like there’s no tomorrow. 🦑💰 In the third quarter, the crypto exchange (legally known as Payward Inc., but who’s keeping track? 🤷♂️) hauled in $648 million in revenue-a 114% jump from last year. That’s more than a dwarf’s beer tab at the Mended Drum! 🍻

Picture the market, nervously bobbing along, waiting for the September Consumer Price Index (CPI), which has the unfortunate honor of being the only kid left in the sandbox during a government shutdown. All the big agencies-Bureau of Labor Statistics, the Bureau of Economic Analysis, the Census Bureau-are on a temporary vacation. The CPI on Oct. 24 is basically the market’s Amazon Prime Day for economic data, except instead of deals, it’s all about inflation. Oh, the thrill. 🥱

The price of Solana (SOL) has plummeted by a mere 3% since yesterday-proof that even the most ardent supporters of digital gold are beginning to question their life choices. 📉

On this wretched Wednesday, crypto’s children were soundly thrashed, with bitcoin miners-those clever chaps now posing as AI sages-enduring the harshest blows, as if in a Chekhovian farce where dreams crumble without the courtesy of a stage curtain. 🙄

This means you can now bet on whether “Team A will score next”-using NHL branding, no less-without feeling like you’re crossing a line into outright madness. Why? Because the NHL apparently decided that its logo looks good on trading screens probably more than it looks good on ice skates.

XRP posts modest gains but trails the broader crypto rally as volume spikes nearly 10% above the weekly average – a sign of institutional positioning at key technical levels ahead of potential breakout catalysts. 🤯📈

Dogecoin (DOGE) has dropped from $0.3066 to $0.1900, which is like watching a toddler lose a candy stash. The crypto market’s recent crash was so intense, it felt like a dramatic apocalypse. 🌍💥

According to CEO Paolo Ardoino, this isn’t just a big number of wallets; it represents 500M real people. He didn’t hold back his enthusiasm, taking to X to call the achievement ‘likely the biggest financial inclusion achievement in history.’