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Of course, the crypto market was totally *unshaken* by this announcement. Not. XMR (that’s Monero for the uninitiated) took a dive, dropping 6% in a mere 24 hours to $252. And that was after a 13.5% loss the week before. So yeah, the panic button’s been hit. 📉

Ever since Trump decided to wear the “Crypto King” crown, accusations of corruption have been hot on the industry’s heels. And Zohran? Oh, he’s ready to turn that heat into some serious political fire, all at the expense of those poor, innocent crypto folks. 🧐

Circle, in its infinite wisdom, has introduced what they call Arc-a Layer-1 blockchain designed purely for stablecoin payments, foreign exchange dealings, and that bustling marketplace known as the capital markets. Such a platform is, naturally, open and enterprise-grade-whatever that may signify-and relies on USDC as its native gas token, making the usual fuss over volatile cryptocurrencies disappear faster than a suitor at a ball. The blockchain is compatible with the Ethereum Virtual Machine, which is a grand way of saying that developers can prance about using familiar tools, much like a lady using her fan to flirt-only with code. A public testnet, the playground for the clever, is promised for this very fall, and all this grand information was posted on the Circle’s official X account-so it must be true! 🤔

ETFS JUST BOUGHT $1 BILLION USD OF ETHEREUM

BLACKROCK BOUGHT $640M $ETH
FIDELITY BOUGHT $270M $ETH
GRAYSCALE BOUGHT $80M $ETH

THE INSTITUTIONS ARE COMING FOR $ETH (and they brought monocles) 🥂

– Arkham (@arkham) August 12, 2025

And oh boy, did the Dow deliver! It was up nearly 500 points while the S&P 500 gained 1.1%, signaling what I can only describe as a “bullish fiesta.” 🐂🎉 Meanwhile, the Nasdaq Composite added more than 1.3%, closing in on fresh records faster than your uncle trying to swipe right on a dating app. Swipe left on boring markets, am I right? 💘📈

This vertiginous ascent, fueled by the insatiable maw of ETH ETF inflows and the voracious appetites of treasury titans like BitMine, The Ether Machine, and SharpLink, promises to shower its blessings upon the humble ERC tokens. But which of these cryptographic minions deserve your fleeting attention? Pray, allow me to elucidate with a smirk and a wink. 😏

Ethereum, that digital Prometheus, has risen from the ashes of July’s lows near $2,380, ascending to heights unseen since the last cycle’s zenith. Its breakout above the $4,000-$4,100 supply zone on the weekly chart is not merely a technical triumph but a metaphysical shift, a rebellion against the gravity of bearish sentiment. And yet, in this triumph, there is a quiet irony-the higher it climbs, the more it invites scrutiny, like a man on a scaffold, both admired and judged. 🧐

ADA’s price has been quieter than your ex on a Sunday morning, but that silence seems strategic. It’s consolidating just below $0.8-$0.85, playing hard to get while teasing a breakout that could send it soaring toward $1.50. Is this the moment we’ve all been waiting for? Or will it leave us hanging like an unresolved cliffhanger in season three of our favorite show? 🤔✨

For eons, the market danced to the tune of these halvings-sharp spikes, desperate crashes-like a tragic ballet written in code. But now, the script has changed. The spotlight is shifting away from miner’s breadlines and toward the crowd of institutional fat cats, regulatory tightropes, and the ever-looming shadow of the global economy. Looks like the star of the show is losing its luster, folks, and the new stars aren’t even in the script. 😂

Ethereum’s Pectra upgrade had its grand debut on the mainnet back in May, bringing with it a flurry of Ethereum Improvement Proposals (EIPs). A full 11 of them, to be exact! Some of the standouts include enhanced staking, smart contract functionalities for wallets with externally owned accounts, and account abstraction. The cherry on top? Gas optimization – because who doesn’t love a little boost in efficiency? 🏎️