qfx

Key Takeaways:

Ah, the moving averages! Those fickle arbiters of fate. The 50-day and 100-day lines, once allies, now stand as barriers, mocking every feeble attempt at a rally. And the 200-day average? It remains a distant dream, a reminder of how far this once-proud asset has fallen. The Relative Strength Index, that melodramatic indicator, teeters in the mid-30s, hinting at oversold conditions but refusing to commit. Will it surrender? Or will it prolong the agony? Only time, that indifferent spectator, will tell.

Key Takeaways (or, as I like to call them, the CliffsNotes for the financially faint-hearted):

Bitget has announced the launch of Reality, its new real-world asset platform. 

So, Bitwise Asset Management (yes, the digital asset wizards) just launched the Bitwise Crypto Carry Fund (USCC) after swiping the baton from Superstate. It’s like a corporate version of “you’re cut,” but with more blockchain and fewer tears. The announcement came in a joint statement that probably involved a lot of handshakes and awkward Zoom smiles.

Apparently, the tokenized securities market will grow from $17 billion today to $5.5 trillion by 2030. That’s a lot of zeros. Someone check Citi’s calculator.

Disclosure: The author of this story owns shares in Strategy (MSTR). No, they didn’t sell them to fund a lavish lifestyle… yet.

Michael Saylor, the illustrious Executive Chairman of Strategy, has finally broken his silence after the company sold a measly 32 bitcoin for $2.5 million. Because, apparently, one needs to sell bitcoin to fund dividend payments on preferred stock. Who knew?

The CoinDesk 20 is currently trading at 1993.65, up 0.2% (+3.54) since 4 p.m. ET on Friday.

The LDP argues that crypto ETFs would open a window for ordinary investors-a doorway marked easy and safe, with the locks a little less cruel than custody hell. A formal framework for spot Bitcoin and Ethereum ETFs would, they say, give the public access without the need to wrestle with technical quirks. The proposal promises transparency and regulation as if these words alone could quiet the din of risk. “Crypto-ETFs would provide investors with easy-to-understand ways of investing,” they declare, as though understanding is a magic key handed to the crowd by bureaucrats wearing silk ties and counting the coins in their pockets.

Between May 26 and May 31, Strategy sold 32 Bitcoin for a tidy $2.5 million, which works out to an average price of about $77,135 per coin. The SEC 8‑K signing ceremony-performed with the solemnity of a courtroom mime-stated the obvious purpose: the proceeds are to fund distributions on preferred stock. In other words, the treasury is keeping the lights on for the dividend party while pretending it isn’t turning its back on accumulation, which is exactly what every good dragon does in a tax haven with a sense of rhythm.