qfx

With the gravity of a man who has seen the future and found it wanting, Buterin argues that open source code, verifiable hardware, and privacy-preserving cryptography (ZK‑SNARKs, FHE, and the ever-elusive differential privacy) are the bulwarks against the twin specters of centralization and baked-in backdoors. 🕵️‍♂️ He cites, with the precision of a naturalist cataloging species, the lessons of COVID vaccine inequalities, the threats posed by proprietary health systems and brain-computer interfaces (BCIs), and the risks inherent in electronic voting and forensic evidence. These, he declares, are the battlefields where civic, commercial, and public-safety technologies must be as transparent as a St. Petersburg summer day-inspectable, verifiable, and free from the taint of hidden agendas.

Bitcoin took a tiny step back after a little market liquidation, but analysts say that’s just the market’s way of doing a “health check,” like when you go to the doctor and they poke your tummy. Fake drops, like a bad Tinder date, can actually pump the price later, so buckle up for a potential Bitcoin moonshot. 🚀

Adopted earlier this month, this oh-so-revolutionary rule allows commodity-based trust shares to be listed without the SEC giving its usual thumbs-up, as long as they meet some “defined criteria.” For Grayscale, this is a golden ticket to compliance, sweeping aside the pesky obstacles that have previously slowed the roll-out of Ethereum-based products onto public markets. It’s almost like they’ve been handed a cheat code! 🎮

“Bitcoin’s weekly Bollinger Bands are now the tightest in history,” proclaimed the enigmatic Mr. Anderson on X (formerly known as Twitter, because why not rename everything?). He’s the kind of guy who looks at squiggly lines and sees the future. 🔮📈 “When these bands get this cozy,” he added, “it’s like a rubber band stretched to its limit-something’s gotta snap.” 💥🚀

Meanwhile, the broader crypto sentiment is teetering on the edge of a panic attack, like a circus performer on a tightrope. Yet DOGE, ever the plucky underdog, continues to prove itself with consistent liquidity inflows. What a trooper!

This nifty little executive order was signed on August 7, 2025, and directs our beloved federal regulators to take a long, hard look at the rules that have kept many retirement savers stuck in traditional markets. Because, apparently, just stocks and bonds weren’t *wild* enough for some people. 😂

Deutsche Bank, ever the society host, published a report by its Research Institute on Sept. 22 titled “Bitcoin vs. Gold: The Future of Central Bank Reserves by 2030,” pondering whether bitcoin could charm its way into the same velvet-draped portfolios as gold. The study compared both assets against traditional reserve standards-volatility (gold: *yawn*, bitcoin: *chaos!*), liquidity (gold: *snail pace*, bitcoin: *lightning strike!*), and trust (gold: *centuries of pedigree*, bitcoin: *still proving itself*). By 2030, central banks might hold both as diversifiers-because why choose one when you can have both? 🤷‍♂️

This Mr. Hayes, he used to run a crypto exchange called Bitmex (sounds like a snake oil salesman’s establishment, if you ask me), and now he’s the big cheese at Maelstrom Fund. He’s been jawin’ about how if Trump were to be back in the White House, he might just unleash a whole heapin’ helpin’ of money-printin’. He thinks some fella named Scott Bessent might try to control interest rates like they did back in the war – a time when folks were worried about a bit more than the price of a loaf of bread. Now, that, he reckons, could create a whole lotta credit.

BNB outpaced its peers in September, setting it up for a possible $40B market cap gain by year-end. Let’s hope the market doesn’t crash into a wall of confusion. 🛑