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Two of the sharpest chart-watchers in the crypto universe are whispering that the quiet period of momentum drying out might finally be over. Think of it as Doge shedding its slippers for rocket boots. In new monthly graphs, Kevin (aka @Kev_Capital_TA) has meticulously stacked three cycles like a crypto Jenga game, highlighting a familiar pattern: long, rocky consolidations that suddenly erupt into impulsive explosions, with Fibonacci targets floating high above, like a kite on steroids.

Despite the recent volatility resembling a chaotic children’s birthday party-balloons popping, confetti flying-sentiment remains cautiously bullish, as if everyone’s waiting for the next big thing to happen, possibly involving blockchain or maybe just a really convincing magic trick. Rising trading volumes suggest investors are still rather interested in this digital Swiss Army knife-useful for business payments, crossing borders, and charity donations, making XRP feel a bit like the Swiss Army knife of cryptocurrencies. It’s not rushing like Bitcoin, but some folks reckon XRP is the slow but steady tortoise in the race, with a future that might be brighter than a neon sign on a foggy night in Las Vegas.

As of Thursday, the exit queue for Ethereum’s validators hit a staggering 1 million Ether, valued at a cool $4.96 billion. These brave souls, who have been diligently adding new blocks and verifying transactions, are now lining up like sheep for the slaughter-metaphorically speaking, of course. The queue has grown so long that it now takes a record 18 days and 16 hours to escape. What a time to be alive! 🎉

According to the list of virtual asset trading platforms maintained by the Hong Kong regulator, the Securities and Futures Commission (SFC), BitMart withdrew its application on Thursday. It seems they’re not alone in this decision, as other crypto trading platforms have also jumped ship. 🚣‍♀️ Major crypto exchange Bybit applied last year but withdrew its application at the end of May 2024. Similarly, OKX withdrew its application at the end of May, as did Gate. 🤯

The macro winds, fickle and unforgiving, converge upon the narrow strait of the Federal Reserve’s September policy meeting, a gathering that promises to be as consequential as it is unpredictable. 🏛️ The FOMC, that august body of monetary sages, convenes on September 16-17, with futures markets-those harbingers of collective delusion-pricing in a high probability of a rate cut. Yet, the Fed’s oracles, ever cautious, intone the mantra of “data-dependence,” a phrase as reassuring as it is ambiguous.

Now, Hemi claims to have invented the “Hemi Virtual Machine,” which is apparently some kind of magic that embeds a full Bitcoin node inside an Ethereum Virtual Machine. The goal? To combine Bitcoin’s security with Ethereum’s flexibility. Yeah, because that’s what the world was missing: more Ethereum-style smart contracts on Bitcoin. They’re apparently enabling applications for earning, borrowing, and trading on Bitcoin, because clearly, that was the missing piece of the puzzle.

What’s behind this mass exodus? Are the SHIB tokens quitting their day job and running away to join the circus? It’s making the cryptoverse itch with curiosity. Supply vanishing from exchanges like lollipops at a dentist’s office… Oh, something wicked (or wonderful) this way comes.

Launched, with a fervour one might expect for a particularly eligible bachelor, on the Solana blockchain on the twenty-first of August, the YZY token experienced a brief, and frankly rather impertinent, rise of fourteen hundred percent before tumbling downwards with remarkable speed, losing over eighty percent of its initial value. A cautionary tale if ever there was one!

And lo! The moon beckons, or at least a very ambitious hilltop. Robinhood’s latest micro futures have added zing to the market’s confidence, as open interest skyrockets like a balloon at a kid’s party. Yet, as with any good scandal, the regulatory storm clouds hover-poised over Solana’s ETF filings, which have again been delayed by the SEC’s ever-charming dithering. A little drama keeps the headlines spicy, after all! 😏

After flirting briefly with gains, Cardano found itself swarmed by sellers near $0.9650. Like Bitcoin and Ethereum before it, ADA succumbed to gravity, dipping below $0.920 and $0.900. Bears pushed it even lower, testing the waters at $0.830, where bulls seemed to whisper, “Not today.” A minor recovery brought it above the 23.6% Fibonacci retracement level of the recent decline-but don’t get too excited yet.