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This sudden surge in sell orders, coinciding with a 2.4% dip in ETH’s price to a rather uncomfortable $4,272 late Monday, is a clear sign that the speculative long positions are starting to unravel faster than a poorly knitted sweater in a cat’s paws. 🐱🧶

Injective (INJ) soared to the dizzying heights of $12.90, marking an impressive 4% recovery from its nadir earlier in the week. However, this minor victory dance is but a faint echo of its former glory, as the token remains a mere shadow of its November self, having lost over 60% of its value. 😢

SmartGold, a gold-backed IRA provider, has partnered with tokenization platform Chintai Nexus to let U.S. investors shackle their gold holdings to blockchain rails and earn a yield in decentralized finance (DeFi) protocols. 🚂💨

According to the prophetic scrolls of DefiLlama, this is the very first month where spot and perpetual contracts have flirted their way past the $1 trillion mark. A triumph worthy of sonnets and champagne, if only your wallet agreed.

The debut silently became one of their biggest milestones in decades. It pushed digital assets to the center of their portfolio and even outpaced real estate in value. 🏰💰

The transaction, my dear, involved the sale of 175 million pre-funded warrants at a mere $1 each. Over 80 investors joined the fray, including the likes of Pantera, GSR, and FalconX. One can only imagine the champagne flowing at those board meetings! 🥂

Meanwhile, the Federal Reserve contemplates interest-rate cuts like a moody artist, while tariffs whisper sweet nothings into the ears of investors-hesitant to throw their hard-earned cash into new ventures. Risk remains a gamble, and the crypto rollercoaster keeps clanking up its tracks.

Gemini, that bastion of financial innovation, has unveiled its latest bauble: a credit card that showers its holders with XRP rewards, as if one needed another excuse to indulge in retail therapy. 💸 And lest we forget, it also supports Ripple’s stablecoin, RLUSD, a currency so steady it makes the British upper lip look like a jitterbug. 🧐

After a month of wild swings, BTC is now in neutral gear, humming along like a teakettle with delusions of grandeur. But this calm is a prelude to a storm. A breakout (or breakdown) is inevitable. Will it be a phoenix rising from the ashes of $112K, or a tumbleweed rolling back to $108K? Only time will tell. And perhaps a few cryptic tweets from anonymous sources. 🕵️♂️

Now, with this cheeky purchase, Strategy holds a jaw-dropping total of 636,505 BTC, worth a mind-boggling $69.69 billion. Yes, you read that correctly. Someone definitely knows how to throw a party in Bitcoinville! 🎉