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Among the fallen, DOGE stands out, not for its resilience, but for its swift decline, plummeting by 4.78%. It seems the Shiba Inu has decided to play fetch with its value, much to the amusement of the market. 🏃‍♂️🐶

Now, picture this: SHIB prancing with a shiny valuation of $8.86 billion, while BCH sits there at $10.35 billion, twirling its mustache and looking rather smug. Well, after a delightful two-week romp, our furry friend is gearing up to crank up the competition and snatch the 17th spot on CoinMarketCap — an achievement it hasn’t sniffed at since last year! 🌟

The integration with Transak, effective July 22, follows Metamask’s first native support for a blockchain operating outside the Ethereum Virtual Machine (EVM). Users can now buy solana (SOL) using local fiat currency through credit/debit cards, Apple Pay, Google Pay, and bank transfers facilitated by Transak. Oh, the humanity! 🤡

In the grand tradition of crypto saving the world, one blockchain at a time, Somos Axolotl, a Solana (SOL) validator, has kicked off a conservation project in Mexico City. The mission? To protect the Axolotl, a creature so rare it makes a unicorn look like a common house cat. 🦄

As announced just last week (with all the fanfare of a royal proclamation), Block will officially join the elite list starting July 23rd. A round of applause, please, for the company that tracks the stock performance of companies that, well, actually matter in the grand scheme of things. Or so they say. 🙄

According to Shibburn, 21,611,083 SHIB have been burned in the last 24 hours. That’s a big number, but let’s put it into perspective – it’s still a drop in the ocean (or should I say, a token in the trillion-strong supply? 🌊). A single transaction sent 16,444,740 SHIB to a dead wallet, because that’s where all the cool tokens hang out 💀.

According to those clever folks who track blockchain data (shoutout to Arkham Intelligence), on July 22nd, a wallet linked to SpaceX transferred 1,308.45 BTC—worth roughly $152.91 million—to a shiny new address. And just for kicks, they sent a tiny transaction fee of 0.000248 BTC ($29) to Coinbase Prime before making the big move. You know, because why not? 😅

The decentralized ecosystem, a veritable hive of activity, coupled with the antics of whales (not the kind one finds in the ocean, mind you) and speculation of grand exchange listings, has set hearts aflutter. Though the mainnet launch remains but a promise, the technicians and on-chain metrics assure us that a bullish continuation to $0.6 is nigh. How very exciting, though one must always temper one’s enthusiasm with a dash of prudence. 🧐

And Jamie Dimon, the guy who acts like Bitcoin is personally offensive to him? He’s still publicly ranting, I presume. But behind the scenes? Oh, they’re “exploring ETF-linked lending” and “facilitating crypto access.” Facilitating! It’s like they’re trying to *sound* responsible while secretly dipping a toe in the crazy. It’s a whole thing. A whole, infuriating thing.

Hedera (HBAR) price, in a fit of audacity, broke out of a double bottom pattern, shattering the neckline at $0.229 and soaring to a peak of $0.299 on July 18—revisiting that tiresome high from early May. This escapade boasts a gain of roughly 30% from the breakout point. How charmingly excessive! 😂