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Brian Armstrong, Coinbase’s CEO and resident crypto philosopher, chimed in with his usual brand of corporate poetry: “We’re exploring a Base network token. It could be a great tool for accelerating decentralization and expanding creator and developer growth in the ecosystem. To be clear, there are no definitive plans. We’re just updating our philosophy. As of now, we’re exploring it.” 🧐 Translation: “We’re dipping our toes in the pool, but don’t ask if the water’s warm yet.”

Just this past Sunday, the cryptocurrency closed with a plaintive whimper, marking a 4.2% fall to a disheartening low of $0.00001369. But wait-Monday’s dawn brought even darker tidings, as Shiba Inu saw its value plunge by an additional 4.82% to a bleak intraday low of $0.00001297, according to our faithful oracle, CoinMarketCap. It seems volatility is the new best friend of our furry friend!

While the bulls sniff the air with optimism, the bears lurk in the shadows, ready to pounce. Profit-taking whispers echo through the market, and a crucial support level stands as the last bastion of hope. Will it hold, or shall we witness a tragic comedy of errors? 🎭💔

Although these two digital sprites wander the same blockchain fields, they seem to have developed a delightful knack for independence. XRP, that once-mighty titan, finds itself stumbling like a toddler on wobbly legs, while RLUSD maintains its serene demeanor, shining even as its counterpart falters. What a sight to behold! 🎭

This rare spectacle has only happened three times in the current cycle, like sightings of a particularly elusive garden gnome, and each time it marked a significant local bottom. Which, in crypto-world, roughly translates to “Please buy now before it does something unpredictable.”

Well, the 170% leap to $7.48 million suggests buyers are throwing their hats (and wallets) into the TRON Futures ring, hinting at a bullish party that’s just getting started. 🎉

In the grand tradition of capitalist improvisation, Nemo Protocol has birthed a debt token, $NEOM, to soothe the wounds of its exploited faithful. “Stablecoins? Capital? Bah!” they cry, “We have tokens!” 🪙 A September 14 manifesto admits their coffers are as empty as a tsar’s promise, but fear not-fairness and transparency shall reign! Or so they say. 😏

In this grand ballet of innovation, Orochi’s zkDatabase pirouettes onto the stage, bestowing upon XDC’s tokenized RWAs the gift of tamper-proof, cryptographically verifiable data. A triumph of modernity, it renders unverifiable claims as obsolete as a monocle at a rock concert. 🎩

Despite telcos promising “unlimited data” for “just $10/month,” the reality is closer to “unlimited confusion and debt.” Rural areas? They’re basically the Siberia of the internet, where the only thing slower than the connection is the local bus. 🚌

Ah, Thailand – a land of breathtaking vistas, spicy food, and regrettably, a surplus of online scammers. But fear not, dear reader! The Central Bank has finally decided to intervene by freezing a staggering 3 million accounts, all allegedly connected to 177,000 “mule” accounts – the financial equivalent of dodgy chauffeurs for fraudsters.