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Ethereum (ETH) is chilling around $4,500 with a trading volume of $32.4 billion over the last 24 hours. It’s a bit wobbly right now, but still up 4% for the week. Classic Ethereum! It can’t make up its mind whether it wants to flirt with the $4,900 peak or get cozy at $4,000-it’s a real emotional rollercoaster. 🎢

Well, if this little breakout above the descending resistance line actually *happens* (one can never be certain, you know), we could be looking at a rather cheeky $3.25. But, of course, if it doesn’t, we shall all simply have to suffer through a bit of consolidation. Dreadful.

“He carefully manages his SGE days,” the spokesperson proclaimed, with a gravitas befitting a man of Sacks’ stature. “Those days need not be consecutive, you see.” 🧐 Ah, the loopholes of the enlightened! Meanwhile, the indefatigable Senator Elizabeth Warren, alongside her cohort of lawmakers, has taken it upon herself to scrutinize this temporal ballet. “Have you exceeded your limit, dear Czar?” they inquire, quills sharpened and letters signed with the fervor of the morally indignant.

Superintendent Adrienne A. Harris dropped this bombshell on September 17, expanding the rules that used to only apply to virtual currency hipsters to the stodgy folks at traditional banks. Basically, if you have a state-chartered bank or a foreign bank branch licensed in New York, congratulations, you’re officially under blockchain house arrest.

Behold, the CME Group, that colossus of derivatives, hath proclaimed on the 17th of September its intent to birth options upon XRP and Solana futures, commencing on the 13th of October, pending the whims of regulatory overlords. These contracts, both standard and micro-sized, shall grace the markets with daily expirations, a veritable feast for the speculative soul. The company, in its infinite wisdom, declareth:

And let’s not forget the elephant in the room-or rather, the orange-hued figure trying to steer the Fed like a shopping cart with a wonky wheel. Powell finally addressed the Trump-shaped shadow looming over his decisions, claiming it didn’t sway him. Right. As if a wizard would admit to being influenced by a squabbling court jester. 🤡

For decades, the global financial markets have been a walled fortress. Stocks, bonds, and ETFs were safely locked away behind layers of brokers, banks, and an avalanche of paperwork. But, lo and behold, the wall is starting to crack.

Bears are lurking ready to swing the axe like it’s July all over again, but CleanCore’s got its boots dug deep, might just hold the ground.

The noble architects at Movement Industries, puppeteers behind this digital spectacle, proclaim with pomp that their darling Movement shall soon don the garb of an L1 monarch. With promises of swifter performance, rock-solid stability, the delightful temptations of staking, and upgrades aplenty, they court expansion with the enthusiasm of a lover in midsummer’s folly.

Bitcoin’s been hotter than a jalapeño in a sauna lately. The Trump administration’s cooking up a Strategic Bitcoin Reserve (SBR), which sounds like something out of a financial thriller. 🕵️♂️ Meanwhile, companies are hoarding Bitcoin like it’s the new gold-or maybe they just really like the color orange. 🟠 And let’s not forget the US Spot Bitcoin ETFs, which have been on a shopping spree, gobbling up 25K BTC since last week. Toss in a Fed rate cut, and you’ve got a recipe for either a rally or a really expensive pizza. 🍕