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Not content with mere price growth, Solana has also become the darling of institutional hoarders, whose treasury reserves are swelling like a plutocrat’s ego at a charity ball. Reports, as reliable as a gossip columnist’s whisper, reveal that Solana’s reserves are ballooning at a rate that would make a baroque composer blush. This wave of accumulation, driven by strategic treasury holdings, is as inevitable as a Waugh novel ending in disillusionment.

Technical indicators whisper sweet nothings of further misfortune, as the token stands on the precipice of a two-month low, beckoning it to take an unceremonious plunge into the abyss of despair in the upcoming sessions.

On September 16, Joaquim Lopes Alves, legal eagle for Festejola do Brasil LTDA – basically the guy who shows up and says “Yep, I represent the whole mess”- took the stand about the Great Store Shutdown. Turns out, his team was just trying to scan some irises, not build a coffee empire, in case you were worried about their retail ambitions. ☕👁️

This neobank, they say, is the tender offspring of the Plasma protocol, born to soothe the restless souls in far-off lands-places where the dollar is worshiped but the banks, those ancient temples of finance, crumble beneath the weight of neglect. Istanbul, Buenos Aires, Dubai-gilded names where digital dreams collide with old-world scarcity. And lo! A card designed to cradle stablecoins through these markets, wielded like a talisman against the furnace of fiscal hardship.

Another week, another crypto rollercoaster. 🎢 Both Bitcoin and Ether ETFs closed in the green, pulling in a cool $271 million on Friday. Strength? Sure, if you ignore the chaos underneath. 🤷♂️

On the 1-hour chart, XRP stumbles like a wounded fighter: from the lofty summit of $3.018 it tumbles to a pitiful $2.717, then scrambles half-heartedly back up, finding some bread crumbs around $2.75-$2.85. Yet these buyers, valiant as they seem, cling to their hope like children clutching an empty pocket; momentum flees them faster than a drunkard at dawn.

Yet Marszalek, with the solemnity of a prince defending honor, declared these accusations naught but baseless shadows in the wind. For was it not said by that venerable chronicler ZachXBT, invoking the august voice of Bloomberg, that a breach had, in some dark corner of the year 2023, stolen away the sacred personal details of users, an act shrouded in silence by the custodians of Crypto.com? Surely, the public had been cast into darkness without so much as a flicker of light shed upon the matter.

So here’s the deal: Strategy (MSTR), ever the overachiever, decided to spice things up last week by adding 850 more Bitcoin to their ever-growing digital collection. But, wait for it… it wasn’t exactly the kind of splash that would make headlines at a Bitcoin party. A mere $99.7 million for 850 BTC. What a steal, right? I mean, it’s not like they couldn’t spare it.

Michael Saylor, that wily fox of the digital frontier, took to the X, as they call it now, to confirm the deed. With a grin and a wink, he reminded the world of his Sunday whisper, a hint that Strategy would soon pad its already bulging bitcoin sack. “We’ve done it again,” he crowed at the break of dawn, Eastern time. “850 BTC for ~$99.7 million, at a price so steep-$117,344 per bitcoin-it’d make a farmer blush. And mark this, our yield stands at 26.0% YTD 2025,” he boasted. “As of 9/21/2025, we hodl 639,835 BTC, bought for ~$47.33 billion at a price so low-$73,971 per bitcoin-it’s a steal, a heist, a marvel of modern finance,” he added, his words dripping with the satisfaction of a man who’s cornered the market on digital gold.

One might wonder, with such grandeur and promise, what cruel fate commands the stars to align so unforgivingly for these mystical coins? The market cap-oh, the very heartbeat of this pecuniary colossus-has contracted by a sorrowful 3.9%, resting now at a staggering yet somehow fragile $3.89 trillion. A number so vast it confounds the mortal mind, yet precariously balanced as if on the edge of a gambler’s fortune.