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If this risky venture pays off, it could set the stage for other exchanges to blend crypto exposure with unrelated futures contracts, like mixing oil with water and somehow making it work. But, even if it doesn’t take off, it’s still a shiny new toy in Coinbase’s product lineup. 🎲

Ah, the whimsical dance of markets! Like a sorcerer tired of suburbia, Arthur Hayes-co-founder of BitMEX and part-time crypto conjurer-cast away his entire treasure chest of HYPE tokens, worth a princely $5 million. This abrupt vanishing act ignited a flurry of chatter among the restless crypto masses. Yet, undeterred by his own vanishing trick, Hayes assures us the 126x growth prophecy still shines brightly in the distant mists of 2028. Patience, dear mortals, patience.

Maybe. It all depends on whether crypto behaves during the New York trading session – kinda like how your cat only acts cute when company’s around. Watch those $112.9k and $116.1k levels like a hawk (or like you’re stalking your ex on social media).

Crypto wallets are looking rougher than my Aunt Ida’s meatloaf-down 3.81%-dragging the whole crypto economy down to $3.88 trillion. That’s right, guys: the $4 trillion fantasy just face-planted faster than Buster Keaton on roller skates.

Here’s the twist, though: while retail investors seem to be lurking at home, probably binge-watching their favorite series instead of throwing money at DOGE, the smart money-those sneaky investors with more zeros in their bank accounts-are quietly scooping up coins. It’s almost like a surprise party where nobody told the guests, and they’re just happily filling their pockets while everyone else is still stuck trying to find the invite. 🎉

Here’s the kicker: Spot Taker CVD data says the sellers are ruling the roost with a -35 million Delta. That’s like the market saying, “No thanks,” and pushing TRX down towards $0.32 unless something magically flips the mood.

DeFi Development Corp (DFDV), a Nasdaq-listed firm, has partnered with Solana-based liquid staking platform Fragmetric Labs to launch South Korea’s first Solana (SOL) treasury. This announcement comes as part of their strategy to expand their footprint in the digital asset treasury space, marking a significant move for the Solana ecosystem in South Korea. The partnership aims to acquire a publicly listed Korean company and establish a corporate Solana treasury. 🎯

Lo, the digital euro-a spectral wallet birthed by the European Central Bank-seeks to challenge the omnipotent American credit card titans. Will it triumph, or shall it be cast into the abyss of failed experiments? 🤷♂️💸

It’s like a carnival of capital last week-both Bitcoin and Ether ETFs showed up with their wallets open, turning heads and opening floodgates. From September 15th to 19th, Bitcoin’s big sibling pulled in nearly $887 million, while Ether, never one to be outdone, managed a cool $558 million. Institutional confidence? More like institutional obsession. 💸🎢

In a recent X post (because why not stage a spectacle where everyone can watch?), the wise CryptoJack pronounced XLM “ready to explode.” Such prophetic flair could almost be mistaken for tea leaves reading. The token slips and slides beneath a descending trendline since midsummer, a gloomy tunnel with no exit, where each hopeful break is politely turned away. Yet below, between $0.105 and $0.115, a cozy little camp of accumulation glows-a stubborn hearth where sellers tire and buy-side tempers slowly rekindle.