qfx In a blog post that reads like a TED Talk written by a sleep-deprived grad student, he warns that if we keep letting corporations and governments build “closed systems,” we’ll end up with monopolies, abuse of power, and a trust deficit so bad even your ex wouldn’t text you back. Classic.
In an announcement made earlier today, the Central Asian country of Kazakhstan unveiled a pilot project for its tenge-baked stablecoin, dubbed Evo. For the uninitiated, the tenge is the national currency of Kazakhstan. Because nothing says ‘financial stability’ like backing a crypto with a currency that’s probably only known to people who live there. 🤷♀️
With the gravity of a man who has seen the future and found it wanting, Buterin argues that open source code, verifiable hardware, and privacy-preserving cryptography (ZK‑SNARKs, FHE, and the ever-elusive differential privacy) are the bulwarks against the twin specters of centralization and baked-in backdoors. 🕵️♂️ He cites, with the precision of a naturalist cataloging species, the lessons of COVID vaccine inequalities, the threats posed by proprietary health systems and brain-computer interfaces (BCIs), and the risks inherent in electronic voting and forensic evidence. These, he declares, are the battlefields where civic, commercial, and public-safety technologies must be as transparent as a St. Petersburg summer day-inspectable, verifiable, and free from the taint of hidden agendas.
Bitcoin took a tiny step back after a little market liquidation, but analysts say that’s just the market’s way of doing a “health check,” like when you go to the doctor and they poke your tummy. Fake drops, like a bad Tinder date, can actually pump the price later, so buckle up for a potential Bitcoin moonshot. 🚀
Adopted earlier this month, this oh-so-revolutionary rule allows commodity-based trust shares to be listed without the SEC giving its usual thumbs-up, as long as they meet some “defined criteria.” For Grayscale, this is a golden ticket to compliance, sweeping aside the pesky obstacles that have previously slowed the roll-out of Ethereum-based products onto public markets. It’s almost like they’ve been handed a cheat code! 🎮
“Bitcoin’s weekly Bollinger Bands are now the tightest in history,” proclaimed the enigmatic Mr. Anderson on X (formerly known as Twitter, because why not rename everything?). He’s the kind of guy who looks at squiggly lines and sees the future. 🔮📈 “When these bands get this cozy,” he added, “it’s like a rubber band stretched to its limit-something’s gotta snap.” 💥🚀
Meanwhile, the broader crypto sentiment is teetering on the edge of a panic attack, like a circus performer on a tightrope. Yet DOGE, ever the plucky underdog, continues to prove itself with consistent liquidity inflows. What a trooper!
This nifty little executive order was signed on August 7, 2025, and directs our beloved federal regulators to take a long, hard look at the rules that have kept many retirement savers stuck in traditional markets. Because, apparently, just stocks and bonds weren’t *wild* enough for some people. 😂
Deutsche Bank, ever the society host, published a report by its Research Institute on Sept. 22 titled “Bitcoin vs. Gold: The Future of Central Bank Reserves by 2030,” pondering whether bitcoin could charm its way into the same velvet-draped portfolios as gold. The study compared both assets against traditional reserve standards-volatility (gold: *yawn*, bitcoin: *chaos!*), liquidity (gold: *snail pace*, bitcoin: *lightning strike!*), and trust (gold: *centuries of pedigree*, bitcoin: *still proving itself*). By 2030, central banks might hold both as diversifiers-because why choose one when you can have both? 🤷♂️
