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If this wacky plan works, it’s a win-win for Solana-based projects. Take Snorter Token ($SNORT), for instance. Their Telegram trading bot will zoom like a bat out of hell, possibly turning it into the next 1000x crypto. 🚀💸

Stablecoins, my dear, are the très chic accessories of the digital age: always on, borderless, programmable, and accessible to anyone with a smartphone. Unlike the antiquated payment systems that close on weekends (how gauche!), they whisk value from Bangkok to Boston in seconds. Truly, the first serious upgrade since SWIFT in the 1970s-a breakthrough that marries messaging with settlement, much like a society marriage of convenience. 💍💨

Let me start by saying I know nothing about blockchain. I once tried to explain NFTs to my cat, and he hissed at me. But here we are: Algorand Foundation just hired Nikolaos Bougalis, ex-Ripple engineer, as their new CTO. 🚀 Formerly of the XRP Ledger, now he’s here to “steer the 2025 technical roadmap.” I’m picturing a GPS with more buzzwords than a TED Talk.

The audacity of Saylor’s proclamation-calling Bitcoin the “next frontier” for corporate treasuries-rings with the grandiosity of a man convinced by his own sermon. “You can’t teleport gold,” he chuckled, as if teleportation were the greatest concern of a man with billions of virtual coins clutched in his imaginary hand. Yet, there is something strangely earnest in this-an acknowledgment of the futility and brilliance coiled inside this digital frenzy. Saylor’s strategy, amidst the chaos of markets more mercurial than a Moscow spring morning, is to embrace Bitcoin like a sturdy but unpredictable steed.

This ledger, replete with smart contracts (those programmable marvels that enforce rules with the precision of a London drawing-room etiquette), is boldly positioned as a rival to stablecoins. One must wonder if the ladies of the ton would find such speed and efficiency as thrilling as a well-timed quadrille. 🤚

On 28 September, a Bitcoin advocate named Calle shared screenshots of media coverage with a post on X, saying, “bitchat downloads spiking in Madagascar.” The line lands like a splash of ink on a page already damp with rumor, a headline that knows how to laugh at itself while the crowd leans closer for the truth.

Where’d the cash come from? Oh, just their usual tricks: selling common stock via an at-the-market (ATM) program and issuing perpetual preferred stock. Because why not? 🛒

Ah, BitMine Immersion Technologies (BMNR), that modern-day alchemist, has once again stirred the cauldron of finance. In a press release as timely as a summer storm, they announced their ether holdings had swelled to 2.65 million tokens-a figure that, they assure us, constitutes over 2% of the total ETH supply. How quaintly impressive! 🧙♂️

Accounts tell of crowds who, after days of blackouts and shortages, did take to the streets with a resolve most unbecoming of a tranquil salon. The authorities, in their wisdom, imposed a dusk-to-dawn curfew to try to stop looting and clashes-one cannot help but admire such a display of administrative punctuality, though the outcome remains to be seen. 😅

The rally comes as the broader crypto market rebounds following a subdued weekend. ZEC could extend its gains with traders rotating back into altcoins showing fresh momentum. 🕵️‍♂️