qfx Approved by Spain’s CNMV, the launch stands as one of the first major applications of the EU’s MiCA framework. It’s like the financial world’s version of a secret society, and BBVA has just been handed the membership card. 🧙♂️
The Central Bank of Brazil has birthed a new monstrosity: a Pix service where fraudulent transactions can be disputed online. A triumph of bureaucracy over blockchain, one might say. 🤷♂️
Perpetual futures-or perps, as the cool kids call them-are crypto derivatives that allow traders to speculate on prices without an expiry date. The decentralized platforms that host them, known as perp DEXes, have surged in popularity as traders flee the centralized exchanges (CEXes) like Binance, as if running from a noseless bureaucrat! 🏃♂️💨
It broke through $100 resistance like Kool-Aid Man through a wall 💥, but spot indicators are about as decisive as my Aunt Sheila at a buffet.
Binance Coin thinks it’s hot stuff now, finally breaking out after sulking under $1,035 for ten whole days, according to this MisterSpread clown. Daily close above that? Converts the neckline into support? Please, it’s just an inverse Head and Shoulders-sounds like a yoga pose for losers. Traders are glued to the charts like it’s the World Series of Poker, but hey, I’m just here complaining. 🙄
Here’s the tea: the tax is tiered, because why not add a little complexity to the mix? Miners using 2.25 million kWh or less per year get a free pass (yay, small fry! 🐟). But if you’re guzzling between 2.26 million and 5 million kWh, brace yourself for a 2-cent tax per kWh. And it only gets spicier from there: 3 cents for 5-10 million kWh, 4 cents for up to 20 million kWh, and a whopping 5 cents for anything over 20 million kWh. Ouch. 😬💔
This whopping record might just be the bullish cherry on top for crypto ETFs, especially since IBIT dodged those pesky setbacks last month like a sly fox avoiding a angry Roly-Poly. But oh dear, in the long run, a TradFi invasion could nibble away at those juicy crypto margins like Charlie nibbling on a Wonka bar. 🍫😲
Futures Open Interest, ever the fickle suitor, leapt to $4.23 billion, and liquidity pockets above $0.25 suggest strong bullish positioning. One might call it a love letter from traders, though I suspect it’s more of a wager 🎩.
Behold! The daily chart, a parchment of despair, reveals a despotic trendline-a Bastille of resistance erected from the rubble of shattered dreams in early 2025. At $0.00032, the phantoms of bullish ambition were last executed, their cries echoing through failed breakouts like ghostly echoes in a crypt. 🕯️
In a post that screams “look how important I am,” CZ gushed about three big wins: Binance’s shiny new regulatory license, the launch of the KZTx stablecoin (because every country needs its own digital plaything), and the fact that Kazakhstan’s reserve holdings now include BNB. Because, you know, nothing says “financial stability” like a cryptocurrency named after a blockchain. 🧐📈
