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The token grazes idly at $0.22, nipped at by a meager 0.40% drop over the last 24 hours, its market cap still a hefty $9.16 billion, trading volume sputtering at $245.68 million, as if it were bartering at a county fair. From a high of $0.224 to a low of $0.216, it’s a tale of slow erosion, buyers popping up now and then like prairie dogs, but the trend’s a stubborn downslide, mocking our foolish hopes. 😏
If this is the future of crypto, someone grab me a crystal ball-preferably one that doesn’t require a degree in Institutional Investor-ese. 🌟 Because if the suits are calling the shots, all our carefully curated crypto cycle theories might just be… toast. 🍞🔥
At this very hour, Ethereum trades at $4,711, a price it hath been flirting with for two moons, forming what the wise ones call a “bullish flag pattern.” Yet, inspired by Bitcoin’s bravado, it hath broken forth today, surging by 4.66%-a veritable triumph! 🎉
In a recent X post, the ever-observant analyst Filiz proclaimed that Optimism is flaunting a TOBO pattern-a classic reversal formation, as subtle as a bear in a ballet tutu. The left shoulder, the head, the right shoulder-all present, like actors in a tragicomedy. Yet, will this play end in triumph or tragedy? Only the market knows, and it’s not sharing its script. 🎭
According to Coinmarketcap, Bitcoin (BTC) quietly broke its previous record of $124,457.12 and then just kept going. On Monday afternoon, it touched a new high of $125,559.21. And guess what? No one seems to be throwing a massive party about it, which might just be a good sign of strength in the market, says Glassnode, that ever-so-wise crypto analytics firm.
Now, you might be wondering if “premium yield” means something exciting like a luxury yacht or just a fancy term for “you might find a dollar in your couch cushions.” Well, apparently, for accredited investors, it means you can earn up to an eye-popping 8% Annual Percentage Yield (APY) on your cash. Just to be clear, this is for those with a certain bank account balance-so if you need to check your couch cushions, you’re probably not invited to this party. 🛥️
But hold your horses! That ain’t all. Cleo, with all the foresight of a weather vane in a tornado, also went ahead and bought shares in Oracle right before it got picked to take the reins of TikTok’s algorithm here in the good ol’ US of A. Seems like he’s got a knack for buying just ‘afore the good news rolls in, doesn’t it? 😂
According to Bitwise CEO, this is *huge*. Like, skyscraper big! It could bring crypto to the mainstream – you know, the kind of mainstream where your neighbor’s grandma starts asking about Bitcoin while knitting her sweater. 🧶
Zac Prince, the former chief executive and co-founder of BlockFi Inc., returns to the digital asset stage as the head of Galaxy Digital’s new banking platform, Galaxy One. The ascent reads like a flourish in a drawing-room comedy: less than three years have passed since BlockFi’s bankruptcy, which followed the spectacular implosion of FTX, a spectacle that could teach even a ledger some melodrama.
A whisper from Felix Vanilla notes that you can gather USDH from the Hyperliquid spot orderbook, forge it in Native Markets, or open the door to lending and borrowing at once on Felix Vanilla. “It’s time to go native,” the chorus seemed to murmur, with the grin of a wink.
