qfx Enter Peter Schiff, the financial world’s resident Grinch, who’s been grumbling about Bitcoin since before it was cool. But this time, he’s turned his frown lines toward Ethereum, declaring it “even worse” than Bitcoin. Yes, you heard that right. Worse. As if Bitcoin wasn’t already the black sheep of his investment family. 🐑
While the small-time traders are still clutching their hands in despair, the whales seem to have taken it as a sign to buy the dip-perhaps expecting some divine rescue or simply reveling in chaos. One such behemoth, known as qianbaidu.eth, withdrew a staggering 657.8 billion PEPE tokens-about $4.44 million-straight from Binance. Because who needs dignity when you can have a pocket full of meme coins? 😅
The blockchain boom isn’t just a buzzword anymore; it’s a full-blown spectacle, reshaping the world’s money stage faster than a chorus line on roller skates. Coinbase (Nasdaq: COIN) hammered out the long-term plan on Oct. 9, with CEO Brian Armstrong insisting the mission is to expand universal access to money through crypto innovation. Yup, Coinbase is building the rails to welcome the next billion participants into the shiny digital wallet circus.
As penned in the annals of press releases, Ripple hath forged a pact with Bahrain Fintech Bay (BFB), that venerable incubator of fintech fates, to orchestrate accelerators and partake in local festivities, thereby kindling the flames of blockchain innovation across this regal wasteland. Reece Merrick, Ripple’s Matriarch of the Middle East and Africa, proclameth that Bahrain stood among the pioneers in regulating crypto’s wild brood-a notion as quaint as Tolstoy’s musings on war’s inevitability. They aim to bolster local chains, perchance introducing custody realms and the Ripple USD (RLUSD) stablecoin to the realm’s financial potentates. Suzy Al Zeerah, the wielder of operations at Bahrain Fintech Bay, lauds this union as a bridge twixt global dreamers and the nation’s fiscal tapestry-how droll, as if innovation were not but a pawn in humanity’s eternal chessboard 😂.
Joining the party are BNP Paribas, Citigroup, MUFG, TD Bank, and UBS. Together, they’re cooking up a 1:1 reserve-backed digital money thingamajig on public blockchains. First stop: G7 currencies. Because why not start with the big leagues? 🌍💸
In a rather subtle statement posted online, Trump informed everyone that the US would be imposing a 100% tariff on all Chinese imports starting November 1, citing what he described as Beijing’s “extraordinarily aggressive” move to impose export controls on literally everything they make-because that’s just what the world needs right now. A global trade standoff, right? 🤦♂️
This move, ladies and gentlemen, plonks Luxembourg squarely at the head of the Eurozone class for sovereign fund Bitcoin dabbling, all in the name of that ever-elusive goal: diversification. Because nothing says “smart investing” like hedging your bets on a digital asset that’s been more volatile than a British weather forecast. 🌩️
Floki is apparently hanging out near $0.00009 like it’s a VIP section, getting all the attention from both retail and institutional investors. Analyst Chimp of the North (yes, that’s the name) pointed out that we’ve been here before, my friends. This level? It’s like the secret ‘buy zone’ on the weekly chart. It’s where previous market cycles have bottomed out. Let’s just say it’s a place to “buy low” before the meme coin gods bless us with an uptrend.
According to Bloomberg-those trusty whisperers of Wall Street gossip-Securitize is in “discussions” (read: probably sipping overpriced coffee in a boardroom) to merge with Cantor Equity Partners II Inc. The deal could slap a cool $1 billion+ valuation on Securitize. Not too shabby for a company that’s essentially turning real-world assets into digital Legos. 🧱💸
So, here’s a fun tidbit from Coinpedia: a whopping $1 billion was liquidated after President Trump tweeted his oh-so-wonderful threat to slap even more tariffs on China. I mean, nothing screams “fun” like a trade war, right? 🙄
