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In an official proclamation, Binance doth announce-with all the pomp of a circus ringmaster-zero maker and taker fees for the esteemed BNB/USDC, ADA/USDC, TRX/USDC, and XRP/USDC pairs. 🌟 But heed, dear reader, this boon is not for the common rabble! Nay, it is reserved for the VIP 2-9 users and the noble Spot Liquidity Providers, those knights of the order book. 🛡️

So, Ethereum-big surprise-broke through a major downward trendline. Apparently, it has no historical resistances above it. Great! As long as the market doesn’t totally collapse, there’s hope for some upside continuation. Honestly, though, I’m waiting for the next drama, because when doesn’t this thing go south out of nowhere?

I’d love to say the Monero community responded with poise, but mostly it was what you might expect from people who pride themselves on anonymity: a lot of posting, panic, and presumably a few new burner phones. On the day of reckoning, Qubic decided they deserved more than half the pie, and snatched up over 51% of Monero’s hashrate. People started muttering words like “blockchain takeover,” “double-spending,” and, my personal favorite, “things were just fine until THAT pool showed up.”

According to the oracle of Bloomberg, Sheffield’s ensemble has not merely expanded; it has flourished, like a wildflower in a concrete jungle. They have embraced the art of stablecoin settlements, forging alliances that echo through the corridors of finance, as if to say, “Fear not, for we shall not be overshadowed!”

The Pudgy Penguins mascot will take its rightful place on the racetrack, making its F1 debut in Singapore after the PENGU token triumphed in Kraken’s highly competitive Meme Coin Showdown.

In the vast and often tumultuous world of Solana, where tokens rise and fall with the capriciousness of the tides, Pump.fun’s resurgence sends ripples of optimism through the $SOL market. Solana-based coins, ever the darlings of the speculative crowd, have seen gains ranging from 40% to 70% in the last 24 hours. And as if to add fuel to the fire, Snorter Token ($SNORT), with its ambitious $3 million presale, stands poised to capture the hearts and wallets of the crypto community. 💪🚀

And if you think that’s impressive, hold onto your hats-Ethereum’s open interest, the fancy term for all those active but unsettled contracts, surged a hefty 75%, landing at $5.21 billion in July from a mere $2.97 billion in June. Apparently, people aren’t just dabbling; they’re throwing their money in with the enthusiasm of someone betting on the underdog in a cake-eating contest.

Before making this questionable alliance, Safety Shot had the good sense to clear all its debts and stash over $15 million in cash – seems like they were feeling flush enough to bet on a gamble that’s about as stable as a drunk on a unicycle. Dominari Securities, LLC, was sittin’ in the corner advising like a wise old owl, watching the whole scheme unfold.

At current market prices, this sum would secure approximately 6,400 Bitcoins-a hoard that, one imagines, would make even the most stoic of Russian landowners blush with envy. Yet, Bailey, ever the strategist, has chosen not to plunge headlong into the market like a bull in a china shop. Instead, he employs the Volume Weighted Average Price (VWAP) strategy, a tactic as nuanced as a Turgenev character’s inner monologue, breaking the order into smaller trades to minimize slippage and market disruption. “A straight market buy? How gauche,” one can almost hear him muse, stroking an imaginary beard. 🧐

This delightful tidbit was revealed by TRM Labs, a blockchain intelligence company that’s really good at exposing the dark side of the internet. Apparently, the Embargo gang has been doing some serious damage, and not in the cool heist movie way, but more in the “we hold your critical data hostage” way.