Terraform’s Do Kwon Takes a Guilty Bow 🎭💰

The weight of his offenses, as detailed in court documents, is as heavy as the silence that now fills the once bustling halls of Terraform. One hopes that this confession brings a semblance of solace to those who found themselves ensnared in Kwon’s intricate web of deceit.

🤑 Stocks Soar, Crypto Roars: Wall Street’s Wild Ride! 🚀

The Dow Jones Industrial Average, that old warhorse, climbed 150 points, while the S&P 500 rose 0.3% to new highs above 6,400. The Nasdaq Composite, ever the show-off, added 0.4%, breaking above 21,795. Numbers, numbers, numbers-the lifeblood of the capitalist machine! 📊

Oh, the Great Bitcoin Escapade: More Drama Than a Middle-Aged Love Affair! 🎭💸

He paints a charming portrait of a cultural revolution that’s finally shaken off its kooky roots-like Uncle Ned’s questionable tie collection-and turned into a social consensus that Bitcoin isn’t some passing fad but a genuine *something.* This, he argues, is thanks to the charming conversion of bigwigs like Larry Fink, who’s now practically giving Bitcoin the once-over on every screen from Manhattan to Mogadishu. Imagine that-a skeptic turned evangelist, waving the banner of digital gold like it’s the new black. 💼✨

User Radar: The Web3 Marketing Tool That’s Less ‘Ghost Town’ and More ‘Gold Rush’ 🦌💸

This new tool, nestled within the Addressable dashboard, is a detective with a magnifying glass and a ledger, sifting through onchain and offchain activity like a prospector panning for gold. It tracks aggregated wallet balances across seven blockchains, monitors identified wallets, and retargets users with ads on crypto-aware platforms, because who needs subtlety when you can just follow people around? 😂