qfx

In a recent tête-à-tête with a local news outlet, the esteemed Matt Aronson, chair of the Boston Area Youth-Cash Assistance for Stable Housing (BAY-CASH)-a title that rolls off the tongue like a fine wine-proclaimed that this initiative aims to eradicate homelessness among the youth. Yes, indeed, they shall receive a monthly stipend of $1,200, as if the city were a benevolent fairy godmother bestowing gifts upon her wayward children.

Crypto analyst TehThomas, who presumably spends more time staring at charts than the sun, has pointed out that Bitcoin’s price action is showing signs of exhaustion. 🥱 This could mean that sellers are starting to cash in their chips, while buyers are taking a coffee break. 🍵 Without enough demand to counter the supply, Bitcoin might just slide into the bearish territory, much like a sleepy sloth slipping off a branch. 🦥

Hsiao-Wei Wang, a co-Executive Director who clearly has better things to do than explain wallet ownership, took to X (formerly known as Twitter, or that place where people shout into the void) to state, in no uncertain terms, that this particular $12.8 million sell-off wasn’t their operation. Which is reassuring. Mostly. 🤔

But why, you ask? Ah, the plot thickens! In this age of crypto calamities-kidnappings, amputations (mon Dieu!), and bomb squads-it seems our dear Justin fears not only for his fortune but also for his very life. Or perhaps… there is more to this story? 😏

So, where are these coins heading next? Buckle up, buttercup! 🚀

According to crypto.news, Bitcoin (BTC) soared over 8.5% in the past week to $124,128 on Friday morning in Asia, setting a shiny new all-time high. It’s now hovering around $123,197, still up 32% since the start of the year and over 62% from its lowest point this year. Not bad for a digital coin, huh? 🤑

Fortunately, the vigilant custodians at Coinbase swiftly rectified the matter; they revoked the dangerous permissions and hoisted their remaining assets aboard a more secure vessel, leaving the mischievous bots to gasp in vain. Rest assured, dear readers, that no customer funds were, thankfully, compromised-although one might muse whether the same can be said for the company’s faith in their own security measures. 😂🔒

The IPO, you see, was a veritable party for the pigeons and the partridges of the investment world. Institutional and individual investors alike clinked their champagne flutes (or perhaps their crypto flasks) in unison, declaring, “We shall adopt this madness!” 🐦🎉

So here we are, folks, watching Ethereum tiptoe toward record highs as institutional money floods in like tourists at a free buffet. Meanwhile, Bybit’s latest Crypto Insights Report, cleverly titled *Ethereum at 10: A Decade of Disruption and the Road Ahead*, paints a picture of Ethereum’s future so bright, you’ll need blockchain-grade sunglasses. 😎

The US, in particular, insists developers register with FinCEN and submit to the whims of AML, CTF, and KYC-regulations as thorny as a rose in winter. Yet, for non-custodial wallets, those noble stewards of user sovereignty, this is a Sisyphean task. FinCEN’s 2019 guidance, a relic of warmer times, denies them the title of “money transmitters,” leaving them to navigate a labyrinth of compliance with nothing but a flickering candle. 🔥