Arthur Hayes Just Dumped Your Privacy-Zcash Soars! 😱💸

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Oh, what a time to be alive-and what a time to be slightly paranoid, which, let’s be honest, is the default state of every modern man with a crypto wallet and a conscience!

Arthur Hayes, that mysterious high priest of digital coin and erstwhile co-founder of BitMEX-imagine a James Bond villain who quotes Keynes and drinks espresso in Bali-has casually revealed, as if announcing his breakfast order, that Zcash (ZEC) has now claimed the sacred throne of second-in-command in his family office, Maelstrom (a name so dramatic it could belong to a Tsarist general or a failed vodka brand).

“Due to the rapid ascent in price,” he proclaimed on the almighty X (formerly known as Twitter, that digital tavern where millionaires scream into the void), “ZEC is now the 2nd largest LIQUID holding in MaelstromFund portfolio behind BTC.”

One can only imagine the scene: Arthur, gazing over the South China Sea, sipping fermented yak milk (or something equally exotic and unsettling), while his spreadsheets explode in ecstasy. Because, dear reader, Zcash has rocketed from a humble $137 to over $730 in mere weeks-a 400% surge faster than a babushka on a moped fleeing the tax inspector!

Amidst this chaos, other privacy coins-those shy wallflowers of the crypto ball-have finally stepped onto the dance floor. Dash (DASH)? Up faster than a startled rooster. Decred (DCR)? Spiking like a Cossack’s mustache. ZKsync (ZK)? Soaring-though whether from brilliance or pure confusion is still unclear. Meanwhile, BTC and ETH, those gray-haired uncles of the blockchain, sit quietly on the couch, scratching their decentralized heads and muttering about “market corrections” and “time to HODL.”

Zcash Drops 12% After Eating Too Much Caviar

But alas, such glory is fleeting! For just as the peasant dreams of becoming Tsar, the Tsar dreams of becoming a peasant-escape is eternal. At press time, ZEC trades at a mere $548 (down 11.8%, a fall so sharp it could slice pelmeni), with a market cap of $8.9 billion. Yet, trading volume? Up 139%! $4.63 billion changing hands like bribes at a Soviet border checkpoint. Everyone’s buying. Everyone’s selling. Nobody knows why.

Now, let us speak of Zcash’s divine design-its very soul! A hybrid beast: half transparent (like a government clerk’s ledger), half shielded (like the thoughts of a jealous husband). It runs on proof-of-work, like Bitcoin, with a fixed supply of 21 million-because what is life without a little scarcity drama? Its fully diluted valuation? Around $11.5 billion-enough to buy a medium-sized country or a very fancy yacht with Wi-Fi.

Zcash’s Comeback: Not Brought to You by Marketing, But by Paranoia! 🕵️‍♂️

And here’s the twist-dramatic gasp!-the Zcash Foundation, that noble, tax-exempt band of privacy warriors based in America (where privacy is, ironically, about as common as a quiet subway ride), claims they had zero part in this madness. Alex Bornstein, Executive Director and likely wearer of tinfoil on weekends, said in an interview with CryptoMoon’s Chain Reaction (a name so intense it should come with a warning label):

“We were surprised to see when these mentions started popping up. Then to see that kind of wave just start to spread and then crest was extraordinary.”

Translation: “We didn’t do it. We didn’t want it. But, err… please don’t stop.”

Indeed, this resurgence is not due to ads or influencers or even a TikTok dance (though one could be created-#ShieldedStomp, coming soon). No, it’s driven by something far more potent: the people. Ordinary folks, tired of governments peeking into their wallets like nosy neighbors peering over fences, whispering, “Who bought that?!”

And so, the legend grows. Zcash rises-not from hype, but from the cold, creeping fear that one day, your grocery list might be used against you in a court of law. 🥶🔍

Welcome to the new world, where privacy is priceless, paranoia is profitable, and Arthur Hayes is watching-from the shadows, of course. 😏

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2025-11-08 15:15