Investing.com, that ever-ambitious digital oracle, has unveiled a chart-analyzing marvel on November 18th 📈-because apparently, even AI is now bored of human traders fumbling with Fibonacci levels. The tool, dubbed “Vision AI” (though one suspects it’s just a fancy pair of spectacles), claims to interpret charts visually. Imagine a robot squinting at a graph and declaring, “Ah yes, that’s a bullish divergence, unless I’ve mislaid my monocle.”
Early tests suggest the machine’s precision would make a Swiss watch blush. Who knew image processing could out-calculate calculators? The system now serves 60 million investors monthly-roughly the population of a small galaxy-who can trade everything from Dogecoin to forex with the confidence of a man who’s definitely not making this up.
CTO Yonatan Adest, presumably twirling a metaphorical mustache, insists this AI isn’t just another chatbot regurgitating Warren Buffett quotes. “No, siree! Our system actually looks at the charts. It’s like teaching your goldfish to read a balance sheet.” Users get 10 free credits (two analyses) before descending into the subscription abyss: $14.99/month for 50 credits or $37.49 for 500. At this rate, you’d save money buying a new yacht.
Technical Precision Suggests Sorcery, Not Software
Testing on Bitcoin charts 🤖 yielded a 200-day moving average of exactly $93,297. Close enough to make a day trader weep-or buy a Lambo. The AI also pinpointed a SuperTrend indicator at $90,653 and Fibonacci levels at $92,982, because why approximate when you can be exact? “Fibonacci sequences are just our love language,” the tool allegedly whispered to a trembling analyst.
Image showing parts of the analysis provided by the tool. Source: Investing.com
Each analysis devours 5 credits-perfect for those who enjoy burning cash slowly. A four-timeframe deep dive? 20 credits per trade. At this rate, you’ll need a second mortgage to afford a proper analysis. The system also nailed Ethereum’s metrics with similar accuracy, which is impressive until you realize ETH is just BTC’s quirky younger sibling.
Cryptocurrency aficionados can access the tool in 30 languages, because nothing says “universal truth” like a bot translating RSI divergences into Swahili. Mobile apps are “coming soon,” which in tech terms means “when pigs fly or our interns finish their coffee.”
CEO Omer Shvili insists the AI is “emotionally detached,” which is great unless you’re looking for a shoulder to cry on after a margin call. Disclaimers abound: “This isn’t financial advice, kids-it’s just math in a top hat.”
The launch follows recent AI trading trends, like CoincidenceAI’s partnership with Crypto.com. Because nothing says “trust us” like a tool named after a concept that usually involves astrology.
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2025-11-18 22:51