Bitcoin Buffet: This Company’s About to Gobble Up 5,800 BTC (and Your Attention)

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Basically, Twenty One Capital Inc. is about to snag 5,800 extra bitcoins from Tether so it can swagger into its public listing with over 43,500 BTC. That’s enough crypto to make an early-2010s nerd quietly sob into his ramen. 💸

Twenty One’s Pre-Listing Bitcoin Hoard: 43,500 BTC and Counting, Thanks to Tether

If you’re keeping score (which, let’s be honest, someone’s paid to do), the Austin-based firm expects a fresh bitcoin drop after closing its business combo with Cantor Equity Partners Inc.—a SPAC with a name only an investment banker’s mother could love. Sprinkle in some institutional investor cash announced since April, and they’re swimming in roughly $680 million in new coins. So, it’s raining bitcoin and everyone’s getting—well, except you—very, very rich. 🚀

The team claims these new coins make their capital structure “solid.” If true, Twenty One’s about to become the third-largest corporate bitcoin hoarder on the globe, presumably right behind Scrooge McDuck and Elon Musk. They also say their average cost per coin is $87,280.37. So, just a little higher than the current price and about 87,000 times more than your high school lunch. For you trivia lovers: Each Twenty One share should represent about 12,559 satoshis (translation: still more than my entire crypto portfolio).

Twenty One announced Tuesday it’ll go all-in on a Bitcoin Per Share (BPS) metric so investors can finally flex how many satoshis they’re worth. This all allegedly grants “pure bitcoin exposure”—no messy operations or share dilution. Just vibes. Or maybe just volatility.

After the deal, Tether and Bitfinex get to hold most of the keys to the kingdom. Softbank grabs a minor slice of the pie, while the rest is left for PIPE investors, CEP public shareholders, and the sponsor—Cantor Fitzgerald. No need to clutch your pearls about transparency; all that glorious BTC is held onchain with real-time proof (so, less hiding under the mattress, more showing off on the blockchain). 🔒

The upcoming 5,800 BTC break down as 1,381 BTC (fresh from Tether’s June shopping spree), plus 4,422 BTC they already owed under the CEP combination deal. Oh, and of course, they’ve slipped a confidential draft registration off to the SEC. Cross those corporate T’s, dot the S-4’s, and arm yourself for public market drama under the ticker “XXI”. 🤞

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2025-07-29 22:32