Bitcoin in the Age of Irony: You Won’t Believe What Happened at $113,800 🚀

Before we wander further, a few signs on the road:

  • Bitcoin, stubborn as an old Russian landlord, has thrown off its winter coat and ascended past $113,800, shivering only at the summit.
  • Seasoned observers — analysts from CoinDesk, those sharp-eyed keepers of the digital ledgers — linger round the samovar, wondering: Will this be a fleeting spring, or does a golden summer beckon?
  • All manner of other coins and tokens, swept along by the tide, are rising too. Any moment, your cousin may announce he’s become a Dogecoin millionaire again. 🐶

Ah, Bitcoin — that enigmatic offspring of human caprice and mathematical rigor — has tumbled its way up to $113,800 on a certain Thursday, not so much walking as pirouetting upon the thin ice of modern finance. For months, our digital hero has been climbing, nearly doubling in stature since last year; if only my Uncle Pavel’s potato harvest were so bountiful.

Within drawing rooms and shadowy Telegram channels, yes, CoinDesk’s analysts lean forward, spectacles glinting, pondering: Will our metallic muse stretch with longing towards $120,000, or will this serve merely as another abrupt cough in the night — a passing indiscretion, like a brief flirtation by the samovar?

James Van Straten, philosopher of the blockchain (at precisely 18:55, for timing is precious), reminisces: The 2021 spectacle unfolded not by simple faith, but by the intoxicating fumes of leverage and derivative schemes — like serfs betting the harvest on a single card game. There were corrections, oppositions, and a looming U.S. Fed, glaring like an angry old aunt. But now? The cycle is transformed, flavored with talk of a new buyer, fresh leadership, and a president who can pronounce ‘crypto’ without squinting. And lest we forget the new species of company that snaps up bitcoin for their treasury — truly, capitalism’s Dostoevsky moment.

Oliver Knight, another observer (again, at 18:55 — no Revolution here), notes with a shrug: Net accounts are still short — as CoinDesk’s own Omkar Godbole might say, retail isn’t exactly dancing on tables this time. Last time, euphoric crowds; now, a suspicious hush, broken only by the occasional meme.

Surfaces deceive, my friends! A record high feels bullish, as a spring day feels eternal, yet the technical indicators grumble like a melancholy peasant. The daily RSI, for example, has now displayed three lower highs — as though Bitcoin itself peers over its spectacles and mutters, “Don’t get too comfortable.” 👓 Volume, beloved by traders, has faded since the high tide in January, and in Europe and England, BTC still looks like an awkward tourist, unable to break previous records. Is it the strength of Bitcoin, or just the dollar slipping on a patch of ice? Discuss among yourselves.

Ah, and those trading firms — they always mutter darkly about impending doom. Yet, let us recall: their prophecies were gloomy from $30k to $70k as well, which, in Russian terms, is like warning of rain while standing in a desert. So, will Bitcoin soar once again, or sink with dramatic flourish? Meanwhile, the world watches — half in hope, half in exasperation, and perhaps a small part wishing they’d taken up potato farming instead. 🥔

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2025-07-10 22:19