According to Dave the Wave (obviously a name chosen for its gravitas and subtle hints of Bond villainry), Bitcoin could soon defy gravity and—wait for it—catapult over $150,000 this year. Yes, grab your Martini and calculator: it might be happening. Again.
This mysterious analyst, now apparently psychic with charts, informed his 153,500 followers on X (aka Twitter with a midlife crisis) that Bitcoin is teasing us with a bullish continuation pattern. Think it’s about to shoot up. Think fireworks. Think your mum’s look when she heard you bought crypto. 😱
“BTC cup and handle anyone…?” he muses, as if suggesting we all try a new cocktail instead. “Some are calling it an inverse head and shoulders. Nice try, but the right shoulder’s floppier than that one jumper you only wear to bed. And, let’s face it, ‘inverse head and shoulders’ sounds more like yoga than market analysis at this point. I’m going with cup and handle. You know, because it’s at the top and everyone loves a cup.”
Earlier this year, Dave bravely predicted Bitcoin would hit $160,000 by year’s end (presumably just after he finished organizing his vinyl collection by mood). In his latest musings, he graciously reassures us: Bitcoin’s two-year uptrend is still alive, consolidating like a Labrador with a new chew toy, all in preparation for bigger leaps and—dare we dream—those magical new all-time highs.
“This recent ballet of price moves is only remarkable compared to the delirious parabolic madness of days gone by… We’re seeing grown-up, mature market behaviour—picture Bitcoin wearing glasses and reading the Financial Times. Not just temporary spikes anymore. These new highs might not vanish between sips of oat-milk flat whites.”
In other words, the higher BTC goes, the more it holds its nerve. Unlike most of us at family events.
At time of writing, Bitcoin is strutting about at $108,805, refusing to look back, and possibly eyeing that yacht in Monaco.
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2025-07-09 10:26