Banks Blindsided: $20M Swindled in Crypto Caper, Man Sues—You Won’t Believe Their Defense!

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  • Michael Zidell’s $20M crypto adventure, or as he calls it, “Wednesday.” 🤑
  • Banks accused of treating “fraud alert” like a bothersome background noise. 🔔🙈
  • Enter an enigmatic charmer, a fake identity, and—voilà!—NFT shenanigans. 🎭

Ah, Michael Zidell—the man, the myth, the walking cautionary tale—found himself $20 million lighter, having tiptoed through a crypto scam so grand it could have earned a standing ovation at the Savoy. In a move positively brimming with chutzpah, he’s now suing East West Bank and Cathay Bank, waving the flag of “negligence” and suggesting these banks should have sniffed out the whiff of dodgy dealings like a bloodhound in a butcher shop. His previous performance? A lawsuit against Citibank, unveiled with much fanfare on June 24, 2025, New York—presumably to the sound of politely horrified gasps. Zidell claims the institutions ignored the symphony of warning bells, all while scammers pirouetted off with millions from their very own accounts.

The Banks, the Lawsuits, and a Touch of Financial Farce

Our unfortunate protagonist reportedly flung nearly $7 million across a dizzying 18 bank transfers to East West Bank, and another breezy $9.7 million in 13 transfers to Cathay Bank. Not to be outdone, four million found its way to Citibank accounts. This makes $20 million—give or take an expensive lunch—lost in an epic example of what’s cheekily referred to as a “pig butchering” scam. The lawsuits, filed with all the drama of a Broadway debut in California federal court on July 1, 2025, allege that banks greeted suspicious, spectacularly round-numbered transactions with the enthusiasm of a bored night porter—not a raised eyebrow in sight.

The curtain rises back in January 2023, where Monsieur Zidell is serenaded on Facebook by the irresistible “Carolyn Parker”—a Californian businesswoman of legendary persuasion. After months of tender WeChat video calls and intoxicating messages, Carolyn talked Zidell into investing in a spectacularly bogus NFT wonderland called OpenrarityPro.com. Naturally, by April 2023, the site vanished with all the subtlety of a magician’s rabbit, and so too did Zidell’s millions.

According to the legal scripts, the banks missed their cues—forgetting their “Know Your Customer” lines and rather ad-libbing through anti-money laundering theatrics. The result? The banks played the genial hosts while the fraudsters waltzed out with the caviar. Zidell’s lawsuits now demand a pile of compensatory damages tall enough to impress even an oligarch’s butler.

Elder Abuse, Fraud, and Banking Blunders—Starring… Everyone

This time around, Zidell is doubling down, not just on banks’ alleged laziness, but also on their supposed revelry in elder abuse (although monsieur’s age is as mysterious as the banks’ due diligence process). California law supposedly protects those above a “certain vintage,” hinting that perhaps Zidell qualifies. Allegedly, the banks had front-row seats as the scammers orchestrated their grand finale—huge sums swirling about like champagne at a Gatsby party, and not one question asked.

Citibank, apparently channeling its inner “see no evil”, sent 12 transfers to Guju Inc. (whose own paperwork promised not to exceed $250,000 monthly; sweet optimism). Zidell’s inaugural transfer outstripped the entire annual revenue projection, but for the bank, it might as well have been Tuesday. Meanwhile, East West and Cathay Banks, not wanting to miss their cue, also let the high-value wire show roll on uninterrupted.

Even the FBI joins the chorus, waving its 2024 Internet Crime Report like a conductor’s baton—pig butchering scams are now a box-office hit, with $5.8 billion in damage in 2022 alone, $2.8 billion of that from older Americans—often drawn in by digital Casanovas promising love, fortune, and a 300% APR on heartbreak.

Zidell, naturally, knocked on the doors of both the Dallas Police and the FBI, but thus far, the excitement has been mostly one-sided. The Secret Service made a cameo, nabbing $225 million in a crypto crackdown—which, in this context, is a respectable dent, much like tossing a pebble into Lake Erie.

All things considered, these lawsuits demand a rewrite to the age-old banking drama: “To protect and serve… or just to observe?” Depending on which judge is in the audience, Zidell’s case might force banks to rehearse their fraud-detection scripts with a little more zest—and perhaps keep the next $20 million from wandering off with the cast of digital impostors. 🎬

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2025-07-05 13:08