According to Vincent Mortier, Chief Investment Officer at Amundi (who presumably knows more about money than the average shampoo heiress), America may have just found an Olympic-grade method of firing itself in the financial foot — stablecoin legislation that may or may not have been written over a very long lunch.
Mortier, visibly juggling his sense of irony, told Reuters that the bill’s name — the GENIUS Act — may turn out to be about as well-chosen as calling your hamster Beefcake. “It could be genius — or it could be evil,” he noted, presumably before spinning in his chair and laughing maniacally. The root of his concern? Turning the dollar digital and bolting it (with heroic enthusiasm) to a pile of U.S. Treasuries could make it less Atlas and more Humpty Dumpty.
Traditionally, stablecoins are supposed to parade around as tools of American dollar strength. Mortier suggests they could instead start huffing the dollar’s gym towels and become rivals, not sidekicks. Backing every token 1:1 with U.S. assets could be like bragging your car is safe because every seat is stuffed with airbags—while accidentally locking the steering wheel in place. 🚗💥
There’s also the delightful prospect of stablecoin issuers playing at being banks but without any of the “I’m sorry, what do you mean we need rules?” oversight. Imagine Tim Cook or the spacetime warlord Elon Musk deciding they fancy a spot of global banking — what could possibly go wrong? Cyber-cash, brought to you by the people who brought you keyboards that break when you sneeze near them. 🙃
The GENIUS Act, which waddled through the Senate in mid-June and is now loitering around the House, sets fresh capital and reserve requirements. In normal human speak: it tries to make sure stablecoin issuers don’t do anything terribly silly. However, Treasury brains like Scott Bessent think we’re headed for a $3.7 trillion market where even your fridge might start asking you for a digital tip.
Crypto fans, never ones to resist becoming fabulously rich or catastrophically poor, are buzzing. Stablecoins have already ballooned past $250 billion, which is roughly the GDP of Luxembourg floating in cyberspace, and some JPMorgan number-wranglers expect the figure to double. Again. Pretty soon it’ll be all dollars, no bills, and your piggy bank will require WiFi.
On the cheerleading side, some argue the bill would finally give tokenization — which sounds illegal, but isn’t — a solid legal handshake. Abdul Rafay Gadit, who once worked at places with proper letterheads, thinks it could fast-track compliant financial widgets in real estate and trade. Blockchain: not just for pretending your digital cat is unique anymore! 🐱💻
So, will the bill turn the dollar into Invincible Iron Money, or simply open a portal for financial chaos to come tap-dancing through? No one really knows, but somewhere, a committee is definitely preparing for another meeting about it.
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2025-07-04 14:58