Amid the US-Iran war’s market mayhem, gold was MIA, oil was playing second fiddle, and crypto was just… there. But one asset class? It’s making Wall Street question their life choices: POTATOES.
Potato CFDs didn’t just rise-they moonwalked. 705% in a month? That’s not a trade, it’s a full-blown identity crisis for the S&P 500.
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Potato prices have surged +700% in the last month
– Hedgeye (@Hedgeye) May 7, 2026
The 705% jump? That’s like Bitcoin after someone says “NFT” but… with more carbs. BTC? 13.1% gain. ETH? 6.2%. The Nasdaq? 15%-which is impressive if you’re a toddler on a trampoline. Gold? It slipped 0.25%, which is basically the financial version of a nap.
Oil? Brent crude tried to flex with 5.86%, but WTI fell like a bad potato joke. Even gasoline, that gasp-for-air hero, only jumped 16.1%. Still, nothing comes close to the spud-tastic 705%.
Why? Because apparently, the Iran war is now a buffet for potato traders. Euro News says fertilizer costs went rogue, shipping lanes turned into a game of Battleship, and suddenly, a 100kg bag of spuds costs €18.50. That’s not a price hike-it’s a cry for help.
“As potatoes are a nutrient-intensive crop, the sudden lack of affordable fertiliser has direct implications for future yields and current market valuations. To make matters worse, the regional instability has made primary shipping lanes increasingly hazardous, complicating the logistics of agricultural trade,” the outlet wrote.
And yet, Europeans aren’t panicking. Why? Because their supply glut is still enough to feed a small army. Traders, meanwhile, are pricing futures like it’s a game of economic Jenga. For consumers, though, it’s still just fries. For Wall Street? It’s a reminder that in times of chaos, even the humble potato can outshine Bitcoin.
“Traders are seemingly repricing futures contracts and no longer prioritising the current reality of oversupply. While for European consumers, this does not presently translate to a massive increase in the cost of a basic dietary staple, the move in potato CFDs highlights an anxious market attempting to price the several and encompassing economic effects of the Iran war,” the report read.
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2026-05-09 17:28