In a curious twist befitting a novel of manners, Sam Bankman-Fried has gracefully withdrawn his pro se Rule 33 motion for a new trial this week, all while maintaining the right to refile once his ongoing appeal is resolved. How delightfully dramatic!
Key Takeaways:
- On April 22, 2026, our intrepid protagonist Bankman-Fried-let’s call him SBF-chose to withdraw his Rule 33 new trial motion, without prejudice, like a man who decides not to finish a particularly unsatisfying meal, leaving the door open for a future feast after his Second Circuit appeal concludes.
- Meanwhile, the digital realm buzzed with viral posts, whimsically estimating that FTX’s unliquidated portfolio would now be worth an astonishing $114 billion, spurred by a fantastical 165x gain on Anthropic-who knew the alchemy of finance could be so enchanting?
- Despite SBF’s legal machinations and his plea for reassignment before Judge Kaplan, the fate of the FTX case hangs in the balance, unresolved and tantalizingly ambiguous through at least 2026.
SBF Withdraws Rule 33 Motion in SDNY, Preserves Right to Refile After Appeal
The withdrawal letter, now part of the annals of the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York under Case 1:22-cr-00673-LAK, was addressed to the venerable Judge Lewis A. Kaplan. Bankman-Fried, in a moment reminiscent of a well-crafted soliloquy, cited two reasons for his withdrawal: he had been compelled to answer questions about attorney involvement instead of crafting a brilliant retort to the prosecutors-oh, the tragedy!-and he expressed doubts regarding the fairness of a hearing under Kaplan, as if fearing a farcical trial!
The motion, filed without prejudice, resembles a clever magician’s trick: it allows Bankman-Fried to refile once the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit rules on his direct appeal of the conviction and sentence, and after a related request for a different judge is settled-talk about keeping options open!
Originally, the illustrious Rule 33 motion was penned on February 10, 2026, through his mother, attorney Barbara Fried, whilst he found himself in the less-than-glamorous confines of MDC Brooklyn. The motion claimed newly discovered evidence, including allegations that the Department of Justice (DOJ) had withheld critical information and exerted undue pressure on witnesses, such as former FTX executive Ryan Salame and associate Daniel Chapsky. The prosecutors, in a display of their own literary prowess, responded with a 44-page opposition on March 11, 2026, arguing that the motion contained no legitimate new evidence-ah, the art of rebuttal!
In a letter dated April 13, 2026, and sent from the sunlit confines of FCI Lompoc in California, Bankman-Fried addressed Judge Kaplan’s order requiring clarity on who contributed to the drafting of the motion. He described himself as the “ultimate author,” akin to a playwright asserting his creative genius, claiming to have conceived the arguments, drafted various versions, and conducted most of the legal research using nothing more than a word processor at MDC Brooklyn. His parents, both attorneys, offered merely editorial and organizational suggestions, and a New York attorney he briefly retained had no significant input. Interestingly, he did not consult his appellate counsel-a detail that could stir delightful gossip among legal circles!
In an ironic twist befitting a tragicomedy, a jury in the Southern District of New York convicted Bankman-Fried in November 2023 on all seven counts, including wire fraud, securities fraud, and money laundering, linked to the misappropriation of customer funds at FTX and its sister company, Alameda Research. Prosecutors characterized it as one of the grandest financial frauds in U.S. history. He received a 25-year prison sentence in 2024-one might say, a fitting conclusion to a tale rife with hubris!
On the same day the withdrawal was officially recorded, a post by Watcherguru, a crypto news account, went viral on X, drawing attention back to FTX’s pre-collapse venture portfolio. The post posed a whimsical hypothetical: had FTX never liquidated its investments following the cataclysmic events of 2022, what stunning sums might those positions command today?

The figures cited were nothing short of spectacular. The post suggested that FTX’s solana (SOL) stake would now be valued at $5.1 billion, a gain of 27 times-a veritable goldmine! Its investment in SpaceX was deemed worth $15 billion, boasting a 75x return. An early seed investment in the AI coding tool Cursor was assessed at $3 billion, marking a jaw-dropping 15,000x multiple. The stake in Robinhood? An estimated $4.9 billion. And let us not forget FTX’s early investment in the artificial intelligence company Anthropic, which was cited at a staggering $82.3 billion, translating to a 165x return. The total hypothetical portfolio value? A breathtaking $114 billion-a sum worthy of a fairy tale!
During the FTX bankruptcy, court-appointed trustees liquidated most of those positions at distressingly low prices to repay creditors and victims-a tragic end to a once-promising saga. The viral posts elicited sharp responses across social media. Some hailed the early investment choices as evidence of Bankman-Fried’s analytical prowess. Others, however, vehemently countered, arguing that the funds used for these investments were, in fact, the hard-earned money of FTX customers, appropriated without their consent-what a tangled web we weave!
The framing of this discourse encapsulates a tension that has shadowed Bankman-Fried’s case since the collapse: the very entity that defrauded customers also emerged as an early supporter of some of the most lucrative assets of the current cycle-an irony not lost on the discerning public.
In an attempt to charm the fates, Bankman-Fried publicly sought a presidential pardon from none other than Donald Trump. Yet, alas, no pardon has been granted, nor is one anticipated. His appeal before the Second Circuit persists, as does the request for a new judge. The withdrawal of the Rule 33 motion does little to alter the course of these proceedings, leaving the door ajar for future endeavors, depending on how these matters unfold.
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2026-04-23 17:28