Cryptocurrencies collapsed on Thursday, as if the universe had just sneezed and forgot to warn the Fed. The Federal Reserve, in a stunning act of bureaucratic inertia, left interest rates unchanged, thereby emboldening the U.S. dollar to flex its muscles like a fitness influencer on Instagram.
Shiba Inu, the cosmic hound of crypto, found itself nursing fresh losses on Thursday, plummeting 2.03% in 24 hours to $0.000005736. This continued a slump that began on March 17, proving that even digital dogs can’t outrun gravity-if gravity had a PhD in financial ruin.
Earlier in the week, SHIB briefly soared to a four-week high of $0.00000644, possibly mistaking it for a rally. Alas, the euphoria was short-lived, and by Thursday, it was licking its wounds at $0.00000566. The price drop left bulls scrambling like ants in a black hole, with 15.99 billion SHIB longs liquidated ($91,630) in a single day. That’s 88.9% of total liquidations, which only adds up to $103,010-a sum so modest it could buy you a cup of tea and a side of existential dread.
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Shiba Inu briefly surpassed its 50-day moving average ($0.0000061), possibly out of sheer spite. But the move was as fleeting as a TikTok trend, collapsing back into the void of mediocrity. Short-term holders, ever the party poopers, devoured every rally like vultures at a feast, ensuring no breakout could survive past lunchtime.
Crypto Market Hit With $544 Million Liquidations
Digital assets yawned indifferently after the Fed’s rate announcement. Cryptocurrencies, it seems, thrive best in low-interest limbo-where investors, desperate for returns, gamble with their life savings like it’s Monopoly money. The Fed, now paused in its rate-cutting cycle, left rates at 3.50%-3.75%, a decision so bold it could only be rivaled by the audacity of a pigeon wearing a top hat.
Risk assets crumbled as Nasdaq 100 futures tanked, while the crypto market mirrored the global financial equivalent of a group hug gone wrong. Over $544 million in leveraged futures bets were liquidated in 24 hours, with longs ($442 million) getting vaporized faster than a poorly written business plan in Silicon Valley. Shorts? A paltry $98.21 million. Clearly, bulls are the universe’s favorite punching bag.
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2026-03-19 18:59