Trump Claims Ignorance as Abu Dhabi Royal Slips $500M into Trump’s Crypto Wallet

In the hushed corners of the Trumpian empire, where deals are struck with a wink and a cigar, a tale of $500 million and a sheik’s grin has emerged like a bad smell in a silk suit. It seems a wealthy Abu Dhabi investor, Sheikh Tahnoon bin Zayed Al Nahyan, has bought nearly half of World Liberty Financial, a crypto venture tied to the Trump family. The transaction, which could buy enough gold to sink a small fleet of yachts, has stirred the pot of Washington politics and sent WLFI’s token on a rollercoaster ride.

The Sheikh’s Silent Hand

According to the kind folks at the news outlets who still believe in truth, Aryam Investment 1-ostensibly a puppet of the sheik-snagged 49% of WLFI. The payment, split like a Thanksgiving turkey, saw $250 million transferred in phases. Of that, $187 million reportedly went to entities with Trump’s name etched on the door, while $31 million found its way to cofounders, who likely used it to buy more cigars.

JUST IN: President Trump claims he knew nothing about the Abu Dhabi sheik’s $500M crypto investment. “My sons handle that,” he said, as if he’s never touched a business deal since the 1980s.

Bitcoin Black (@Bitcoinblacck) February 2, 2026

The Timing: A Political Rendezvous

The sale’s timing, like a punchline delivered at a funeral, has raised eyebrows. It closed just before a significant political event for the sheik’s partner, prompting lawmakers to squint like suspicious farmers at a suspiciously shiny tractor. Some whisper of foreign influence, others scoff, noting that business is business-even when the business is run by a man who once called a gavel a “beautiful, beautiful instrument.”

Market participants, meanwhile, reacted with the enthusiasm of a cat watching a laser dot. WLFI’s token price spiked, then dipped, then spiked again, like a yo-yo with a caffeine addiction.

Trump’s Denial: A Classic

When cornered by journalists, Trump shrugged and muttered, “I don’t know about it. My sons handle that,” as if he’s never held a pen at a contract signing. His aides, ever the loyal hounds, echoed the sentiment, insisting the family’s crypto venture was run by “executives” and “family members”-a term that, in Trump-world, might include his hair stylist.

Lawmakers and Regulators: Bewildered

Lawmakers, both red and blue, have begun their usual ritual of demanding documents and asking questions they already know the answers to. Regulators, meanwhile, ponder whether the sheik’s investment broke any rules-though in this town, the rules are more like suggestions written in crayon.

Legal experts, ever the realists, remind everyone that foreign investments aren’t inherently evil. What matters, they say, is who signed the papers, who got the cash, and whether anyone bothered to file a form. After all, in the Trump universe, “disclosure” is a word that usually precedes “surprise.”

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2026-02-04 10:47