Bitcoin’s 83-Day Bear Mode: Is This the End… or Just a Bad Hair Day?

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Bitcoin is currently doing what it does best: dramatically failing to impress. After a brief flirtation with $90,000, it’s now back to its old tricks of being a moody, indecisive mess. Traders are left wondering if this is a temporary tantrum or the start of a full-blown existential crisis. Spoiler: it’s probably the latter.

Enter Axel Adler, the market’s self-proclaimed therapist, who’s here to tell us that Bitcoin has been in “Bear Mode” for 83 days. That’s longer than most relationships last, and just about as exciting. According to Adler, the “Trend Pulse” is now officially on the fritz, which is code for “this is getting awkward.”

The Trend Pulse recently switched from “Neutral” to “Bear,” which is like your friend canceling plans last minute because they’re “not feeling it.” The 14-day return is now red, and the SMA30 vs. SMA200 is playing the role of the overly critical ex. Meanwhile, Bitcoin’s quarterly return is sitting at -19%, which is like getting a C- on a test you didn’t study for.

Adler’s latest diagnosis? Bitcoin’s last “Bull Mode” was 83 days ago, which is roughly 10,000 minutes of pure agony. Since then, it’s been like watching a toddler try to ride a bike-lots of wobbles, no progress, and a strong chance of tears. The “Neutral” stretch was so short, it might as well have been a nap.

To get out of Bear Mode, Bitcoin needs two things: a 14-day return above 0 (because positivity is key) and an SMA30 crossover (because nothing says “recovery” like math). But let’s be real, this is Bitcoin. It’s more likely to start a cult than fix its problems.

The quarterly return is hovering near -19%, which is technically not a disaster but definitely not a win. The 7-day change of -6.8% is like a slow-motion car crash, and nobody’s clapping. Together, these numbers suggest Bitcoin is in a “meh” phase-no euphoria, no panic, just… whatever.

Bitcoin is currently trading near $89,000, which is like a 99% discount on the $90,000 dream. The chart shows it’s been stuck in a “lower-high” loop since November, which is basically a financial version of “I’m fine, really.” The recent selloffs are getting more aggressive, and the bulls are now playing the role of the overly optimistic friend who’s clearly lying.

The moving averages are now sloping downward like a sad slide at a playground. Bitcoin is trading below both the green and blue lines, which is like being stuck in a traffic jam with no exit. The red long-term average is still up there, taunting Bitcoin like a ex who’s now dating someone better.

Volume is picking up on selloffs, which is just the market’s way of saying, “I’m not impressed.” For bulls, holding $90K is the equivalent of a last-ditch effort to save a failing relationship. If they fail, prepare for a descent into the mid-$80K abyss. Because nothing says “recovery” like a 10% drop.

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2026-01-24 06:04