America’s Bitcoin Reserve: Sold, Not Stored!

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In a twist that would make a parrot weep, the United States government has been caught in a Bitcoin conundrum so baffling, it’s as if the Constitution decided to take a break and let the blockchain handle things. 🐦💰

According to a recent report by Bitcoin Magazine, the U.S. Marshals Service (USMS) may have sold Bitcoin forfeited by the developers of Samourai Wallet, even though an executive order says such Bitcoin should be held, not sold. Because nothing says “strategic reserve” like a last-minute sale to a crypto exchange. 🚀

What Happened in the Samourai Case

Samourai Wallet developers Keonne Rodriguez and William Lonergan Hill agreed to forfeit Bitcoin worth about $6.3 million as part of a plea deal with the DOJ. At the time of the agreement in November 2025, this amounted to roughly 57.55 BTC. The government, ever the model of transparency, then promptly handed it over to a Coinbase Prime address. Because nothing says “long-term strategic asset” like a 10-minute transfer. 📦

Documents show that this Bitcoin was transferred shortly after the agreement was signed. Instead of being held in government custody, blockchain data suggests the funds were sent directly to a Coinbase Prime address, which is commonly used for institutional trading. The address now shows a zero balance, leading to concerns that the Bitcoin has already been sold. Or maybe it’s just taking a nap. 🛌

Why the Bitcoin Reserve Matters

This move is drawing attention because of Executive Order 14233, which clearly states that Bitcoin acquired through criminal or civil forfeiture should be kept as part of the United States’ Strategic Bitcoin Reserve. The order specifically says that “Government BTC shall not be sold” and should instead be preserved as a long-term strategic asset. The idea is to treat Bitcoin more like gold reserves rather than something to be quickly converted into cash. Which is exactly what they’re doing. 🤯

If the reports are accurate, selling this Bitcoin would directly go against that order. Or maybe the order was written in a language only the government understands. 🧠

Lawmakers Raise Red Flags

Senator Cynthia Lummis publicly criticized the situation, asking why the government is still liquidating Bitcoin when the president has explicitly directed agencies to preserve it. Her comments reflect growing concern in Washington that mixed signals from different agencies are weakening U.S. crypto strategy. Because nothing says “unity” like a government that can’t follow its own rules. 🗳️

At a time when global competition over digital assets is increasing, critics say ignoring such directives could put the U.S. at a disadvantage and weaken trust in its crypto policy direction. Or maybe they’re just trying to keep the economy lively. 🌍

For now, the situation has left the crypto community watching closely, asking a simple but serious question: if the U.S. wants a Strategic Bitcoin Reserve, why is it still selling Bitcoin? Because, as the old saying goes, “If you can’t beat ’em, sell ’em.” 📚

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2026-01-06 07:07