Bitmine: The ETH Hoarder with a Calculator and a Dream 😎💰

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Oh, look who’s been on a shopping spree again! Bitmine Immersion Technologies is back at it, scooping up more ETH like it’s going out of style. Their ethereum treasury just hit 4.14 million tokens-because apparently, 4.13 million wasn’t enough. 🛒💎

Bitmine Adds Nearly 33K ETH in a Week (Because Why Not?)

Bitmine Immersion Technologies announced on Monday that their total assets-crypto, cash, and equity-now sit at a cool $14.2 billion. Their ethereum stash alone is 4.144 million ETH, which is roughly 3.43% of the circulating supply. Fun fact: they’re basically the Oprah of ETH-“You get some ETH, and you get some ETH, and YOU get some ETH!” 🎁

They also reported holding 192 bitcoin and $915 million in cash, alongside some “moonshot” equity positions (aka their wild bets). In the past week alone, they added nearly 33,000 ETH-because even when the market slows down, Bitmine is like, “Nah, we’re good. We’ll just keep buying.” 🚀

According to their data, Bitmine is the biggest “fresh money” buyer of ethereum globally. Their goal? Own 5% of all ETH. Because why stop at 3.43% when you can have more? They’ve also been staking like their life depends on it-659,219 ETH as of Jan. 4, up 250,000 in a week. That’s $2.1 billion worth, folks. 🤑

Bitmine is working with three staking providers and plans to launch their own Made in America Validator Network (MAVAN) in 2026. At scale, they estimate annual staking fees could hit $370 million. Because who doesn’t love a good side hustle? 💼

“Commodities and precious metals are up, so crypto should follow,” said Bitmine Chairman Tom Lee. Thanks, Tom. We’ll just leave our crystal ball at home next time. 🔮

In other news, Bitmine’s annual shareholder meeting is set for Jan. 15 at the Wynn Las Vegas. They’re asking to increase authorized shares for “flexibility”-aka more room to make big moves. And their stock is trading like hotcakes, ranking among the most active U.S. equities in early January. 🥞

With all this ETH accumulation, staking expansion, and capital planning, Bitmine isn’t just a treasury-it’s a full-time ETH hoarder with a calculator and a dream. 📊✨

FAQ ❓

  • How much ETH does Bitmine hold now?
    As of Jan. 4, 2026, they’ve got about 4.144 million ETH. That’s a lot of zeros. 🔢
  • What share of ETH supply is that?
    Roughly 3.43%. They’re basically the ETH version of a whale. 🐳
  • Is Bitmine staking its ETH?
    Oh, you bet. Over 659,000 ETH is staked, and they’re not stopping there. 🚀
  • What is MAVAN?
    It’s Bitmine’s in-house validator network, launching in 2026. Because why rely on others when you can do it yourself? 🛠️

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2026-01-05 21:07