🤯 $40 Billion?! Tech’s AI Obsession is REAL.

So, the deal went down. Apparently. Numbers floating around…$22 billion? $22.5 billion? Honestly, who keeps track at that point? It’s all just…a lot of zeroes. 🙄 Someone probably lost a decimal place somewhere, and now we’re all just politely pretending it’s accurate.

Key takeaways (if you can be bothered):

  • SoftBank’s now chucked roughly $40 billion at OpenAI. Like, casually.
  • The last payment? Over $22 billion. That’s a serious amount of avocado toast.
  • SoftBank owns a bit more than 10% of OpenAI now. Which basically means they get invited to the cool kids’ table.
  • This whole thing started way back in early 2024. Feels like a decade ago, right?

The whole messy process wrapped up after dawdling since early 2024. SoftBank threw $8 billion at OpenAI initially, then strong-armed a bunch of other people into chucking in another $10 billion. Now they have over 10% of Sam Altman’s baby. Fancy.

Valuation, Funding Structure, and…Motives?

They’re valuing OpenAI at $260 billion. Pre-money, obviously. Which is a completely reasonable number, yes. 🙃 Apparently they’re going to spend it on…expanding infrastructure. And something called Stargate, which sounds like a very ambitious sci-fi project. They’re collaborating with Oracle and the U.S. government. I’m picturing a lot of blinking lights and very serious people in suits.

And get this: SoftBank sold all their Nvidia stock – $5.8 billion worth – just to fund this. Like, “Oh, we were kind of attached to those chips, but AI is more important, I guess.” Priorities, people, priorities.

OpenAI’s Expansion Plans and Investor Bingo

OpenAI is prepping for an IPO, which is basically like throwing a party for investors. They also want to spend $1.4 trillion on computers. A trillion. 🤯 They’re going around begging Nvidia, AMD, and Broadcom for chips. It’s all very dramatic.

Everyone wants a piece of the AI pie, obviously. Microsoft’s still hanging around, and Amazon is apparently considering throwing $10 billion at it. And, the kicker? Disney just dropped a billion dollars to let OpenAI mess around with their intellectual property. So, get ready for AI-generated Mickey Mouse nightmares. 🐭

Meanwhile, Meta is busy buying up companies so they can build their own impressive AI stuff. Apparently it’s a race to see who can build the biggest brain. I just want a robot that will do my laundry. Is that too much to ask? 🤔

Disclaimer: I have no idea what I’m talking about. This is just an opinion. Don’t base your life (or your investments) on anything I’ve said. Seriously.

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2025-12-31 12:46