Bitcoin: Whales & Fools 💸

So, the digital tulips have… bounced. Yes, after a period of existential dread – dread felt mostly by those who bought at the peak, naturally – Bitcoin has clawed its way back up a bit. A measly ten thousand, give or take. From the abyss of eighty-one to a fleeting flirtation with ninety-three, before being unceremoniously shoved back down to ninety-one. Such drama! One almost feels sorry for the algorithm.

The Leviathans Stir

Who, you ask, is responsible for this capricious revival? Not you, dear reader. Certainly not the little people. Oh no. It appears we have the usual suspects: the whales. Those magnificent, indifferent beasts of the blockchain, casually shifting fortunes while the rest of us scramble for crumbs. According to some fellow – Crypto Rover, a name that sounds suspiciously like a canine research project – these behemoths are the ones pulling the strings.

They were, shall we say, rather enthusiastic sellers when Bitcoin briefly touched the heavens (a peak of one hundred and twenty-six grand, can you imagine?!), causing a delightful panic and a fifteen-thousand-dollar plummet. Now, however, they’ve decided it’s cheap enough to accumulate. A bit like a bored millionaire picking up antiques at a garage sale.

WHALES ARE BUYING BITCOIN! 🐳

– Crypto Rover (@cryptorover) November 28, 2025

Meanwhile, where are the masses? Lost, I suspect, in a haze of regret and lukewarm instant coffee. Apparently, they’ve been “essentially missing” for a year. One can hardly blame them. The Google searches tell the tale – a few pathetic spikes of interest, quickly extinguished. Compared to the frenzy of ’17 or ’21, it’s…quiet. Alarmingly so.

Bitcoin retail traders have basically done nothing over the past year. 👻

– Crypto Rover (@cryptorover) November 28, 2025

ETFs: The Return of…Someone

And now, a glimmer of hope! Or is it? The spot Bitcoin ETFs, those complex and utterly baffling financial instruments, are showing a modest return of investment. BlackRock’s IBIT, after a period of serious indigestion, is not vomiting up quite as much money. A net inflow of seventy million dollars! A triumph, you say? Perhaps. Or merely a temporary pause before the inevitable. After all, these ETFs are about as predictable as a cat in a room full of red dots.

One can only watch and marvel at this whole spectacle. A digital currency, guided by whales, fueled by fleeting ETF interest, and observed by a largely apathetic public. It’s…a story. A truly absurd story. And a profitable one for a select few, no doubt. Don’t ask me who. I just write the reports-and try not to laugh. 🤡

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2025-11-30 10:29