In a move that surely defies reason, BitMine, the ever-optimistic crypto treasury company, announced on Friday its grand plans to launch the “Made in America Validator Network” (MAVAN) to stake its Ether (ETH) holdings. Because, of course, when the market’s in freefall, the best time to double down is now, right? 🤔
Apparently, they’re piloting MAVAN with not one, not two, but three staking infrastructure providers. Because why not complicate things when everything is already collapsing? The grand launch is set for the first quarter of 2026, and with the market behaving like a rollercoaster, I’m sure the timing couldn’t be better. 🚀
In case you’re new to this whole crypto business, staking tokens to validate proof-of-stake (PoS) blockchains helps secure networks, all while generating revenue in the form of staking rewards-paid out, of course, in ETH. Because that’s exactly what you want when the price is on a downward spiral, right? 😅
“At scale, we believe our strategy will best serve the long-term best interests of our shareholders,” said BitMine chairman Tom Lee. Right, Tom, I’m sure everyone’s thrilled to watch this play out! 🍿
And just when you thought things couldn’t get more entertaining, this announcement drops during a crypto market meltdown, where treasury companies are seeing their net asset values (mNAV) plummet faster than a stone in water. Not the best time to announce a massive new project, but hey, who’s counting? 🤷♂️
BitMine’s Drama: Stuck Between the ETH Abyss and a Market Collapse
Turns out, BitMine is sitting on a cool $3.7 billion in unrealized losses. Yes, you read that right-unrealized. That’s thanks to the crashing ETH prices, according to 10x Research. The price of ETH had been at $3,023 when the report dropped on Thursday, but by Friday, it had plunged to about $2,700. Talk about timing! 🤦♂️
This means BitMine is now more than $1,000 underwater on each ETH it holds, after buying up the asset when it was riding high last summer. I guess they didn’t get the memo that markets don’t always stay at their peak…
With ETH’s price crashing below $3,000, it has erased an entire year of gains for crypto treasury companies that held it. And if the price keeps sinking, more financial pain is likely on the horizon. But don’t worry, folks-there’s always a “rising” narrative when you need one! 😉
According to 10x Research, the reality is brutal: “Treasury companies will face a hard reality: attracting new retail investors becomes nearly impossible when existing shareholders are sitting on billions in losses.” Who could have seen that coming? 😆
As if that wasn’t enough, the whole treasury model is facing stiff competition. Asset managers like BlackRock and exchange-traded fund providers are starting to offer lower-cost digital asset exposure and staking rewards. Looks like BitMine has a real challenge on its hands-though, perhaps it’s all part of the charm.
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2025-11-21 21:15